© 2018 James Perry
© 2018 The Urantia Book Fellowship
Marion and I would like to share some insights into marriage that we’ve discovered after 52 years of living together. We hope these insights will inspire you as you begin married life. The wedding ceremony, with all its preparations and with family and friends gathered to celebrate, is the beginning of your life together.
After exchanging vows of commitment and loyalty, you will rest briefly from the routine challenges of life by going on a honeymoon, where you can enjoy one another without external distractions. This will be a glorious time for you, and you will reflect often about how glad you are to have found one another.
After the honeymoon, you will face the reality of adjusting to the constant intimacy that marriage requires. You will begin to view each other as you really are, which is not a bad thing in and of itself, for this is the beginning (or can be) of a true union. Sometimes the shock of discovering the faults of your mate can be overwhelming, as some faults are hard to accept.
And when other problems are added to this mix, it becomes very difficult to maintain a growing harmonious relationship. The problem of making a living is always there, along with the many adjustments required for successfully completing these requirements. Social interactions can often be problematic, especially issues with family; financial problems are often destabilizing. Add to this the realization that you are continually learning new things about each other. Well that’s another factor for emotional discord. You may wonder what happened to the glow of the honeymoon, when everything seemed ideal.
This will be hard if you deeply resent one another’s more intractable deficiencies. You both will want the other person to change into your own image. This is seldom successful. Praying for one another will enable you to become patient and tolerant of each other’s faults. It will help you see one another the way the heavenly Father sees you. He knows your deficiencies and still loves you both unconditionally.
A true test of love for one another will be your willingness to set aside pride and acknowledge, as you continue to pray for each other, that your mate is doing the best that she/he can.
Pray Together and for Each Other. This practice is far more difficult than praying for each other separately, for it requires that all barriers to true intimacy be removed. This practice puts the heavenly Father at the center of your relationship. There is nothing more powerful than a God- centered relationship; it is here that you will realize each other’s sincerity; it is here that trust blossoms, for no moral person would invite the heavenly Father into the center of a relationship unless he/she was sincere.
Praying together and for each other will help you grow in your understanding and knowledge of each other and will inspire you to love without conditions. This new level of happiness and satisfaction is based on spiritual reality; all barriers to intimacy fall away in the trusting presence of the heavenly Father. You will discover you as you learn to seek the best and live for, one another. Selfishness will be replaced by unselfishness, and every important matter will be subject to negotiation in good faith except the relationship itself.
Having a God-centered relationship will not release either of you from the struggles of living. But it will ensure that you will keep faith with each other and bravely work together to solve the difficult problems of living according to the Father’s will.
Jesus said that he is the way, the truth, and the life. Reggie and Sherry, your marriage is a path that you can use to follow Jesus. As you do this, you will discover to your everlasting satisfaction the love of the heavenly Father as it comes forth from each of your souls, out to one another, and then to all others whom you love and serve.
Reggie and Sherry, do you want to have an unsinkable and unbreakable marriage? Then learn to truly love one another, and everything else will take care of itself. Seek the greater and the lesser will be found therein; seek to know and do the Father’s will in your lives together.
I am now a retired physician who practiced General and Family practice Medicine for many years. I now live in Raleigh, N .C ., though the bulk of my professional life was in Henderson, N .C. I was introduced to The Urantia Book in 1977 and have studied since that time. I have been tremendously influenced by its teaching in my personal and professional life.