© 2003 JoiLin Johnson
© 2003 The Christian Fellowship of Students of The Urantia Book
On June 7, 2003, JoiLin Johnson addressed the Boulder Urantia community. Her inspired words moved all of us, as she told the story of her husband Eric’s struggle to survive a massive heart attack. JoiLin’s story is one of faith, community spirit, and the miraculous ways of the down-grasp of God. Below, we print the words she spoke that night.
Larry Mullins
“Effective and wise leadership. In civilization much, very much, depends on an enthusiastic and effective load-pulling spirit. Ten men are of little more value than one in lifting a great load unless they lift together — all at the same moment. And such teamwork — social co-operation — is dependent on leadership. The cultural civilizations of the past and the present have been based upon the intelligent co-operation of the citizenry with wise and progressive leaders; and until man evolves to higher levels, civilization will continue to be dependent on wise and vigorous leadership.” [UB 81:6.37]
Until recently, I never had much cause to really consider the meaning of community and what it might mean to me — community meant going to worship service, study groups and various other meetings throughout the year. Most of you already know what my husband Eric has gone through over the past 2 years, but for those of you who don’t, I’ll recap briefly.
In 2001 he lost not just his job, but his livelihood — as a member of the IT field — you probably knew that Y2K began to bottom out the industry and 9/11 finished the job — leaving 40,000 techies in Denver jobless with not much hope of new employment. In 2002 Eric’s health began to diminish. For many months we blamed it all on depression, with no money coming in we were not only facing bankruptcy but the loss of our home as well.
Finally on December 20 of last year, Eric went into the hospital and it was soon diagnosed that he had congestive heart failure. Within days the doctors knew enough to know that he would not survive unless he got a new heart! He was transferred from Rose Medical Center to University of Colorado Hospital Transplant Unit to be evaluated for a heart transplant. Each day I sat by his bedside watching him get weaker and weaker — it got so bad that I found myself holding my breath as I stared at the monitors willing the numbers to go up!
I’d had to quit work because I had to be with him! But the stress of wondering how I would pay for gas / food / parking, not to mention the regular bills, was beyond my ability to cope with. The next day, checks began coming in from so many beautiful people in our community! There were a lot that came in anonymously from extended family across the U.S. Some that came from people we didn’t even know! People that knew us began putting Eric on prayer lists in their churches, on web sites — he had thousands of people praying for him all over the world!
I was awed! And humbled like I’ve never been. You loving brothers and sisters — you kept the wolf from the door at a time when I was simply not able to deal with one more stress! I had no idea before this that “community” is oh, so much more than just a word — it’s more than going to worship together or study group.
It’s viable, it’s a living energy system that reaches out and holds within its center of love, those members who could not cope without its support. I feel so blessed / loved and honored to be a part of such a community.
Early on January 17th, I knew in my heart that my beloved Wook was dying and that he had to have a heart soon! The transplant team told me that the normal waiting time, after being put on the list (which had not yet happened), was between 9 and 15 months! I told the doctors “no way!” He would get a heart in much less time — he had to! Well, they cautioned me not to get my hopes up and to realize that he might not be able to hang on.
I refused to listen to them and told them I had faith that he would be taken care of! I went home that evening earlier than usual — around 8:30 PM knowing it was important somehow to spend alone time in prayer and meditation. I began talking to God on my way home asking over and over again that He help my beloved to stay with me! By the time I reached the house I was so distraught I could barely see to drive. I went into the house and fell across my bed — crying like I’ve never cried in my life — when suddenly I knew I had to change my prayer.
Thinking over the past months I could see God’s hand … His love working in our lives. During all that time I had never doubted his over-care and simply trusted that however things worked — it would be as it should be — in other words I had FAITH in capital letters. Perhaps what made my prayers so different now was the fact that now I wasn’t dealing with things, I was dealing with the real possibility of losing my everything — my best friend — my beloved — so I was begging God to let me keep him!
I knew I had to change that prayer. I had to be willing to let go if that was what served Eric’s highest good. So, I told God just that — that I was willing to let Him decide and I would accept His decision for our lives. It didn’t make sense to me at the time but I felt more peace in that acceptance than in any of my earlier talks with God.
When I got to the hospital the next morning I was met by the head of the transplant unit telling me that a heart had been found! (I didn’t know that late, the evening before, Eric had been put on the recipient list.) But I was not to get my hopes up too high as so much checking / cross matching / etc. still needed to be done yet.
“Don’t worry” I said, “I know this is Eric’s new heart!” Again I was cautioned not to hope — that they had even gotten as far as the operating room and had to cancel. “It’s not hope,” I said, “it’s called Faith, and I’m not letting go of mine!”
Well, Eric got his new heart in less than 24 hours after being put on the transplant list! His whole team told me it was unprecedented — it just never happens like that!
We received so many blessings — so many miracles of love and support from God and our community that I will never lose my sense of awe I will never forget the unconditional Love we received.
JoiLin has been reading The Urantia Book since 1983. She has served as an officer for the Rocky Mountain Spiritual Fellowship and is active in Denver study groups. JoiLin is a Reiki master in emotional release work. JoiLin and Eric Johnson have been married for six years and have five children and six grandchildren.