© 1989 Kathleen Swadling
© 1989 ANZURA, Australia & New Zealand Urantia Association
I’d like to share some thoughts with you all sparked off by the excellent and sincere article by Ann Bendall in Six-0-Six May/June '89 issue named ‘Why Aren’t They Knocking on My Door?’
I found I could relate to Anne’s feelings as there are sections in The URANTIA Book that suggest that certain situations can be taken as y yardstick for one’s degree of development. The quote Anne referred to on UB 155:1.4 is a classic example. Jesus was almost reprimanding the twenty-four for being too chronic in their yearning, too vacillating and indefinite in their teaching conduct. This then left them vulnerable for ridicule by the heathen as flaws could be found easily in their teaching. Jesus said: “If you desire to enter the kingdom, why do you not take it by spiritual assault even as the heathen take a city they lay siege to?” (UB 155:1.3) Then he goes on to state the part that prompted Anne: “Let me emphatically state this eternal truth: If you, by truth co-ordination, learn to exemplify in your lives this beautiful wholeness of righteousness, your fellow men will then seek after you that they may gain what you have so acquired. The measure wherewith truth seekers are drawn to you represents the measure of your truth endowment, your righteousness. The extent to which you have to go with your message to the people is, in a way, the measure of your failure to live the whole or righteous life, the truth-co-ordinated life.” (UB 155:1.5)
This kind of passage, and I know there are many others, but I cannot find them unfortunately, do have the effect of making you look to yourself to see how you rate and when you see that you don’t rate as high as you think you should you start to feel that you’re doing something wrong, but you don’t know what. You know you’re sincere, you love God, you strive to do his will, to be like him — what else do I have to do one might ask — why am I not bearing the fruits of the spirit? I know these feelings well.
One thing I’ve came to realize as a result of this kind of dilemma is that you can never watch yourself grow. You can Jook back and see how far you’ve come but you can’t see yourself growing. Jesus said “Don’t let your right hand know what the left hand is doing”. Over the years this saying has come to mean more and more to me as I feel I must just get on and live as best as I know how, learn by my mistakes, remain sincere, keep on seeking the Father’s will and let my soul get on with growing at its own pace without my present consciousness being too concerned about how well it’s Joing.
I think faith plays a big part. We may think our efforts aren’t bearing fruits but remember the parable of the mustard seed. How small and insignificant some of our actions, deeds and words may be now — in fact so small and insignificant they may go by without you even being conscious of what you may have done. However if we are living up to the highest within us, as best as we can, these actions, words or deeds may be falling on fertile soil and may not bear fruit for years — even decades. you may be long gone, but our faith keeps us going knowing that someday, somewhere, somehow fruits will be born as a result of your desire to LIVE the truth.
I think Jesus’ basic message in this passage is to LIVE TRUTH rather than trying to ram it down peoples’ throat.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there’s nothing to worry about if there is a sincere desire to know God. Give it time — all good things take time to mature and ripen.
Thanks for those thoughts, Anne and it is comforting to know that others have similar experiences und dilemmas to tackle in life.
Kathleen Swadling, Sydney
The haste of a fool is the slowest thing in the world.
Thomas Shadwell