© 2003 Merlyn Cox
© 2003 The Christian Fellowship of Students of The Urantia Book
Upon recent retirement I couldn’t help but reflect back on the last thirty-five years and the joys and frustrations of being involved in the institutional church. In the earlier years I took administration pretty much in stride and dived into the tasks at hand with great enthusiasm. I once attended at least one meeting every evening for forty days in a row. My enthusiasm dampened a bit and I realized I probably was not doing the church a favor by burning myself out. Nevertheless, I took administration seriously as its root meaning implies — to minister to, or be in ministry-and felt the connection of serious planning with the opportunity to share the love of God with his children.
Over the years the connection became increasingly strained and tenuous. I realized that for many the connection was largely in theory only. Meetings were held primarily because people had come to believe that this was the job of the church: to hold meetings and come up with reports that could be given — at other meetings. It was an end in itself. The “business” of the church became the business of the church, its primary goal. It was just assumed that sustaining the structure and the institution was the number one task. It was significant, I think, that the first report at board meetings was almost always the finance report. For a few, it also became the source of identity and prestige and control, and led to power struggles and deep divisions in the church. Sound familiar?
The joy of such meetings increasingly waned over the years. Without a vision of our larger task and purpose constantly before us, they almost inevitably became perfunctory and dull. I endured them more than relished them as opportunities for service.
In my parting message to the congregation I gave a list of central convictions that over the years had increasingly laid claim to my life. The first of these was that “all living is meeting,” a phrase that I had first encountered in the writings of the famous Jewish rabbi and teacher, Abraham Heschel. It was meant to stand in contrast to seeing buildings and institutions as our primary concern. Sharing the truth of the Gospel has to do with living, dynamic, personal encounters. All else is secondary.
So why am I sharing this at a time when we’re working at creating a new religious institution; or better, why am I involved in the task at all? I share it, first of all, to identify with the concerns of those whose experience with institutional religion is less — often much less — than encouraging. Secondly, however, I want to make the point that I also realize, in spite of all this, that all religious communities sooner or later will give rise to some kind of institutional expression. The ordering of group life in some fashion is inevitable. The possibilities for rich, sustaining, interactive group life are too important to be put off forever because of our fears. We simply need to be as wise as possible as we endeavor to create structures that will encourage, and not stifle, such creative interaction and growth, and it will be so only if that transcendent vision is ever before us.
Merlyn Cox has recently retired from being a pastor serving in the North Indiana Conference of the United Methodist Church. He has been a Urantia Book reader for 18 years, and worked with Meredith Sprunger in initiating The Spiritual Fellowship Journal in 1991, and served for ten years as associate editor. He is a Board member and Chairman of the Education Team for The Spiritual Fellowship.