© 1994 Ann Bendall
© 1994 The Brotherhood of Man Library
Jesus called everyone “friend” for he was in no doubt that indeed he was just that. Whether he had a friendship with the person was their decision, and their decision alone. To exist, the friendship was 100% dependent upon the person regarding Jesus as a friend and choosing to also be a friend to him.
Many emotions effectively block the development of a friendship and one of the most destructive of these is the emotion—jealousy. Defined as “the state of being suspicious or fearful of being displaced by a rival ” (Oxford dictionary), jealousy is based on fear—the opposite emotion to that conducive to formation of a friendship. In addition it involves a lack of trust and a major error in thinking, totally in contradiction to the reality of the universe, namely that one person can be a rival of another. Rival for what, when each of us is unique, each of us has a preferred plan by God, a plan which no other personality can fulfill?
There is only one way in which one can endure man’s inhumanity to man, and that is to try in one’s own life, to exemplify man 's humanity to man.
Alan Paton “Cry the Beloved Country.”
It appears to be the illusion aforementioned—that one person can be a rival of another, which in its turn is created by the clinging to a goal in life which is impossible to achieve by oneself. There is a sense of “failure deep within”and rather than to discard the goal, a need develops to blame some person or the environment. Either they are objectified to represent the reason for the jealous individual’s failure, or they are the “rival”, the potential enemy, who wishes to claim what the jealous person sees as their rightful position of honour and glory.
It can be jealousy of:
a) a person’s achievements, like the jealousy of another’s musical abilities which makes listening to their exquisite music painful and torturing to the poor sick mind of the person who indulges in this “mental poison”.
b) a person’s personality. And tragically it screams -“ I am not good enough by my standards. I should be like you, and I believe I will never be like you, so how dare you be like you. You are not as I see you, you are evil and a sham.” And so the jealous person character assassinates.
c) another person showing an interest in someone other than the jealous person. This form is normally restricted to close relationships such as marriage partners. It is borne of deep insecurity and an objectification of the partner as a possession. It reveals another interesting phenomenon—the erroneous belief that love is an exhaustible commodity and there is a limited supply to go around. If it appears another is getting love, consideration and attention, then the poor jealous spouse is convinced that they are having their share depleted.
Where jealousy lies, the ability to extend out in love to others is limited at best.
Firstly, Jesus adopted an attitude with everyone, including his own family, of the utmost of respect for the free will of the individual. And this respect for free will caused him much sadness at times with those he loved dearly, such as his mother and Judas.
. . . he did not want to bring any undue influence to bear upon his family or others which would lead them to believe in him against their honest convictions. He always refused to take undue or unfair advantage of the human mind. He did not want men to believe in him unless their hearts were responsive to the spiritual realities revealed in his teachings. UB 128:4.7
It saddened Jesus that their “honest convictions” might be totally in error, but it was essential to him to respect their free will right to make such errors.
Secondly, with his family (and everyone else):
Jesus did everything humanly possible, consistent with his dedication to the doing of his Father’s will, to retain the confidence and affection of his family. UB 138:1.4
And with the jealous individual? The Urantia Book supplies a perfect case study—Judas. Unfortunately this “faith adventure” by Jesus was not responded to by Judas, and there appears to be no other mention of a jealous individual in the book. Jesus had everything going for him to help Judas overcome his jealousy. He was in a position of power by the choice of the apostles. They looked up to him, they relied upon him, they wished through association with him to fulfill their dreams. Most of us, in dealing with the jealous individual, are in a position of lesser power, and the jealous individual will be prone to utilize this power differential, to block any attempts at assistance by ourselves—i.e., to “do as Jesus would do.”
Bitterness
Bitterness imprisons life, love releases it.
Bitterness parapyses life, love empowers it.
Bitterness sickens life, love heals it.
Bitterness blinds life, love anoints its eyes.
Harry Emerson Fosdick
Judas had many unfortunate personality characteristics such as a “proud and vengeful mind of exaggerated self-importance.” UB 139:12.11
From the beginning the Master fully understood the weakness of this apostle and well knew the dangers of admitting him to fellowship. But it is the nature of the Sons of God to give every created being a full and equal chance for salvation and survival. . . . The door of eternal life is wide open to all; “whosoever will may come”; there are no restrictions or qualifications save the faith of the one who comes. UB 139:12.7
Jesus loved and trusted Judas even as he loved and trusted the other apostles, but Judas failed to develop loyal trust and to experience wholehearted love in return. . . . Judas craved worldly honor in his mind and grew to love this desire with his whole heart; the other apostles likewise craved this same worldly honor in their minds, but with their hearts they loved Jesus and were doing their best to learn to love the truths which he taught them. UB 177:4.10
[Many times Jesus warned Judas that he was slipping,] but divine warnings are usually useless in dealing with embittered human nature. Jesus did everything possible, consistent with man’s moral freedom, to prevent Judas’s choosing to go the wrong way. UB 139:12.11
From some of the conversations quoted in The Urantia Book, Jesus did not mince words when giving his advice. For example, when Judas went to Jesus to complain about Nathaniel, Jesus said:
“Judas, watch carefully your steps; do not overmagnify your office. Who of us is competent to judge his brother? . . . Go then, Judas, and do well that which has been intrusted to you but leave Nathaniel, your brother, to give account of himself to God.” UB 139:6.5
Despite what appeared to be the futility of these warnings, Jesus still continued:
. . . “Judas, I have loved you and have prayed that you would love your brethren. Be not weary in well doing; and I would warn you to beware the slippery paths of flattery and the poison darts of ridicule.” UB 174:0.2
Jesus advised Andrew to continue “to go on placing the utmost confidence in this apostle” (UB 157:7.1), the best he could suggest as a way of handling Judas’ growing resentment.
Despite his love and trust in Judas, it was not reciprocated and the “accumulated hate, hurt, malice, prejudice, jealousy, and revenge of a lifetime,” (UB 139:12.10) mobilized into a determination to “get even” after his public protest at the “waste” of incense by Mary “was so sweepingly disallowed by Jesus right there in the hearing of all.” (UB 139:12.10) And so, “he crystallized all the evil of his nature upon the one innocent person in all the sordid drama of his unfortunate life just because Jesus happened to be the chief actor in the episode which marked his passing from the progressive kingdom of light into that self-chosen domain of darkness.” (UB 139:12.10, UB 172:1.7). “And every mortal man knows full well how love, even when once genuine, can, through disappointment, jealousy, and long-continued resentment, be eventually turned into actual hate.” (UB 177:4.11)
At the last supper Jesus made a final appeal to Judas:
. . . but it was of no avail. Warning, even when administered in the most tactful manner and conveyed in the most kindly spirit, as a rule, only intensifies hatred and fires the evil determination to carry out to the full one’s own selfish projects, when love is once really dead. UB 179:4.8
Jesus acknowledged Judas’ final decision: “What you have decided to do, do quickly.” (UB 179:4.6). And when Judas greeted him in the garden later that evening: “placing a kiss upon his brow, said, “Hail, Master and Teacher.” And as Judas thus embraced his Master, Jesus said, “Friend, is it not enough to do this! Would you even betray the Son of Man with a kiss?" (UB 183:3.5)
Jealousy—a very powerful emotion! In combination with Judas’ other attributes which he subconsciously nurtured until they blossomed into “wicked thoughts” of revenge and disloyalty in his conscious being. He lost objectivity, and initiated the action which led to his holding himself responsible for the “blood of an innocent man”—the man who loved him so much more than he chose ever to love himself.
Jealousy: a spiritual poison which attacks and destroys the heart!
You have to be Taught how to Hate!
People have to be taught how to hate…As children we have little ability or experience to dilute or fend off what we learn. Therefore, we are extremely sensitive, vulnerable, and impressionable. That which is learned during childhood - our period of maximum flexibility and development… becomes part and parcel of our very substance and is never forgotten… Our “feelings” about those incidents, and attitudes and moods that grow out ofthese feelings, also stay with us.
T. Isaac Rubin