© 2008 Anne-Marie Ronfet
© 2008 French-speaking Association of Readers of the Urantia Book
Presentation on personality — Dinard meeting, May 2008
When I think about this meeting that therefore carries the personality, the question that comes to mind is to ask myself: Am I real? What makes me feel like I am really alive. Perhaps I am an illusion? And if I am real, how can I become even more real.
Some people need to go bungee jumping to feel like they really exist or stay alone on a boat for several months… Putting your life in danger is sometimes a way to feel better alive.
The feeling of non-existence is a very strong and sometimes very disconcerting feeling. It affects the individual at certain critical moments in his life. For example, sometimes during adolescence when he has the impression that his life is useless, the young person feels “too much”. He has not yet found his place. He does not even know if he has one. Life seems ABSURD to him and especially his own.
- Feeling of non-existence sometimes due to excessive solitude. A woman finds herself alone. Her children leave and abandon her. The feeling of abandonment can lead to “existentialist” disarray in the sense of non-Urantian but human existence. A great feeling of solitude can lead to difficulty in feeling one’s life full and useful, full of meaning.
- Loss of bearings. Sometimes a man following a dismissal is rejected by his wife and it is not uncommon that in such situations he finds himself on the street, totally cut off from his previous life and no longer having any bearings.
These examples show us that the feeling of existing or not existing is subjective but terribly powerful. It is not enough to have a body, a mind and a personality of divine origin to feel that one really exists. One must also “inhabit” one’s individuality, have the feeling of being in one’s place.
What makes us feel alive and living fully?
- We are useful to someone we love
- We are not completely alone. We can share.
- We know our limits and try to exceed them.
- We can have experiences and give them meaning
The Urantia Book tells us UB 112:1.13 Life is actually a process that takes place between the organism (individuality) and its environment. Personality communicates values of identity and meanings of continuity to this association of an organism and an environment…
So we have an identity and an environment, sometimes a good environment, sometimes a more difficult environment. In the cases I just mentioned above, the environment is extremely harsh.
¶ An organism and an environment + the personality
Personality unifies all the factors of reality, the body, chemical reactions, the psychology of the individual, his spiritual goals. It forms a living and unique whole and coordinates all the relationships around this whole. It is the personality that gives the individual the feeling of being unique. But it is the self that expresses itself: “This is me. This is my story. I react like this. I have the right to do so.” And more. “This event means this… It has such meaning in my life… I have always done like this etc.”… and even further, the person looks at his experiences which he assesses and adds even more meaning to them. “This can mean this and not that and if I continue I will achieve such things and that brings me more friendships, more money, more relationships with my children etc., etc…”
The personality coordinates, makes choices and directs the individual in one direction or another… It ensures that the individual is not a machine, a simple tool for reacting to stimuli but a factor of choice taking into account the whole of a situation… And everything happens in the mind. The mind is the great interpreter, the terrain where exchanges take place, or meanings are born. And the engine of these exchanges is the personality;
It is through the mediation of mind that the self and the environment establish meaningful contact. The ability and willingness of the organism to make such significant contacts with environment (response to a drive) represents the attitude of the whole personality. (UB 112:1.15)
¶ I. Deepen your experiences
Understanding one’s experiences from a psychological point of view, drawing conclusions from them and adding spiritualizing elements to one’s conclusions allows one to make great strides forward.
In all concepts of selfhood it should be recognized that the fact of life comes first, its evaluation or interpretation later. The human child first lives and subsequently thinks about his living. In the cosmic economy insight precedes foresight. (UB 112:2.6)
We start by living, we draw conclusions, we reflect, we acquire a certain wisdom and mastery of our environment. But we can go further by adding spiritual value. What does it mean to add spiritual value to our experiences?
We are often told in the booklets about: facts, meanings and values:
A fact is a fact, concrete, physical or mental but verifiable by everyone. It has a meaning; It means such and such a thing. Not necessarily the same thing for everyone. Fortunately, otherwise we would all think the same thing about everything. A value adds a qualitative, moral notion, a notion of soul. The three great values are for example goodness, truth, beauty. There are many other qualities to acquire but if we look closely, they all come from these three great values. Kindness comes from goodness. Confidence, courage comes from the taste to make the truth triumph.
So, in addition to the meaning given to events, we can voluntarily add value to them.
How can we add spiritual value to our experiences? By thinking, by making decisions, by using the tools that are at our disposal: our mind and our capacity to act. Spirituality is an added value to the experience. We make an effort of mastery and the spiritual value transmitted by the Adjuster is added to these experiences and makes us move forward. We then discover that what happens to us is not totally arbitrary but has meaning.
On the other hand, these values are part of the emergence of the Supreme. The values are those of the Father and his reflection in space-time: God the Supreme. We then have the feeling of going in the right direction. That of evolution. Our experiences attract other different experiences and so from experience to experience we advance, we draw potentials to become more real.
“Being real”, having the deep feeling of existing, is therefore accomplished by deepening and giving value to our experiences or those of others…
¶ II. Share to grow
If we return to the unfortunate examples of the people cited above and which are not rare, we find in each case a great loneliness.
The booklets also tell us UB 112:1.16 Personality has difficulty acting in isolation. Man is, by birth, a sociable creature; he is dominated by an ardent desire to belong. It is literally true “that no man lives for himself”.
We better understand the dismay felt by the woman whose story is cited above or the man adrift…
The personality acts with difficulty in isolation… It is handicapped in total solitude…Hence the feeling of non-existence in great solitude. Solitude is not the nature of the personality. This coming from the Father who in his nature shares his gifts, can only unfold and actualize itself in love.
To grow, we must develop a sense of sharing. We share our lives as a couple or as a family, but also our ideas, our work capacities, our ideals, our friendship, etc. On the other hand, we have an origin, a life that is being actualized and a future, a destiny. Our personality reacts to situations that force us to go further, to express choices, to accomplish, then once these goals are achieved, we feel the need to go even further and we actualize something else.
And furthermore, we choose our direction. With the divine endowments that help us, we fulfill our destiny. In the image of the Supreme, we are confronted with matter, we evolve in contact with matter from which we draw a quintessence.
It is the personality which decides, which acts, which takes action; the mind interprets, organizes and our lives change little by little.
Like the universe around us, we reunite our personality with its environment and thereby we act in concert with the Supreme, at our level. And if all this is done in faith in our Father, we can have confidence in our destiny. With our spiritual pilot, we will find our way and realize our lives. And we will become more and more real, more and more existing.
