© 1998 Larry Mullins
© 1998 The Christian Fellowship of Students of The Urantia Book
Kindred Spirits Can Help Make the Journey Easier
A Urantian asked me recently what have I learned after years and years of searching, reading, and attending Urantia Study Groups.
After some thought, I have come to believe that the ultimate prize is somehow to be found within the mystery of personal peace. Not peace in the sense of a negative avoidance of conflict, but rather a dynamic kind of peace that signals the end of inhibition and tentativeness. For, although I started out many years ago in a quest for the tranquility, rest, and the healing power of peace, I did not reckon on the immense experience of love that lies beyond peace.
Unconditional love is something we experience personally (if we are fortunate) in how we love our parents. Then, we learn that the love for another person, outside of our family, is a greater love experience. Later, even this love experience will pale when we learn to love our children. Yet, as the Urantia Papers promise, the greatest of all unconditional love experiences happens when the love of God flows through us freely and unconditionally to touch other children of the Highest Power. This is love that, indeed, lies too deep for words.
I have learned that, for the briefest of intervals, peace gives us wonderful ease and repose. Then, as if from the source of peace itself, the spirit of the Highest Power will spring forth. As Rodan observed (UB 160:3.1), this spirit flows through our souls and refreshes us, it also seeks to transit outward from us, to graciously and gracefully enlighten, uplift, and bless those around us. We thus experience the truth that the Love of the Universal Father is not to be contained. This ungoverned love becomes actualized, or real, for us to the degree we cooperate with its outward flow, and in proportion to our ability to share it with others. “And here is mystery: The more closely man approaches God through love, the greater the reality — actuality — of that man. The more man withdraws from God, the more nearly he approaches nonreality — cessation of existence.” (UB 117:4.14)
I found myself confronted in my later years with the supreme commandment of Jesus, that we are to love one another as Jesus loved us. I came to understand that if I was to progress spiritually, I must progressively learn to live these words: “And when such spirit-led mortals realize the true meaning of this golden rule, they are filled to overflowing with the assurance of citizenship in a friendly universe, and their ideals of spirit reality are satisfied only when they love their fellows as Jesus loved us all, and that is the reality of the realization of the love of God.” (UB 180:5.8) More and more veteran Urantians seem to desire an actualization of this ideal. My studies of the psychological theories of Abraham Maslow and others also indicated that the process of self-actualization itself cannot take place in a vacuum.
A couple of years ago my wife, Joan, began to experiment with a different kind of Urantia Study group. We had suffered a kind of burn out with the traditional study group format. We came to believe that, for some people, the intellectual and detached approach of typical Urantia meetings to the teachings of Jesus left participants untouched on the deeper levels. Some folks who know the “chapter and verse” of every page of the Urantia Papers seem to have no clue as to what a living faith in the message would mean to their lives. It is rather easy to say one “believes” the Urantia teachings, and yet another to take up our personal crosses and actually follow the Master.
So it was that Joan and I began meeting with a small group of kindred spirits who are not satisfied with their spiritual progress. The commonality of this group is simply a mutual desire to find God, and its mission is to support members in their efforts to more effectively actualize their spiritual potentials. As a member of this group, after a year or so, I noticed that something new had been set into motion within me. I began to discover what seemed to be a new and unfathomable kind of love. I began to learn that if we understand and appreciate our spiritual brothers and sisters, we will actually learn to love them. I was to discover that this love will increase over time to a degree that I could have scarcely imagined before experiencing the group.
For the group itself generates dynamics that energize and define some mysterious “missing” factor for me; one that makes the journey one of joy. This experience is what the Urantia Papers call the inescapable corollary to the fatherhood of God: the brotherhood and sisterhood of humankind.
For some people the ideas above are so sublimely simple and basic they wonder why I am writing about them. For those who express the Urantia philosophy and the teachings of Jesus with great fidelity in their lives, there may be “nothing new” in our conclusions. I know some noble Urantians who seem to have formulated their irrevocable decisions, perhaps even before they found The Urantia Book. In a sense, they stepped “across the river” long ago, (so to speak), when the river was only a foot wide. This column, perhaps, will be of little interest to them. We ask such Urantians to consider with patience those of us who attempt a crossing much later, when the river is a raging torrent and the other side is no longer visible. For some of us have dallied, we did not find The Urantia Book until we had journeyed along the river until it seemed forbiddingly wide, and we continue to be searchers for the great place of “spiritual advantage” of which Jesus spoke.
A couple of years ago my wife, Joan, began to experiment with a different kind of Urantia Study group. We had suffered a kind of burn out with the traditional study group format. We came to believe that, for some people, the intellectual and detached approach of typical Urantia meetings to the teachings of Jesus left participants untouched on the deeper levels.
In Daniel J. Boorstin’s newest book, The Seekers, he writes: “Caught between two eternities, the vanished past and the unknown future, we never cease to seek our bearings and our sense of direction — we are all seekers. We want to know why. Man is an asking animal. And while the finding, the belief that we have found the Answer, can separate us and make us forget our humanity, it is the seeking that continues to bring us together, that makes and keeps us human.”
A “Living the Teachings” group may prove of value to anyone who is not satisfied with his or her ability to live at their highest level, and who sense a far greater potential within themselves than they have been able to actualize, or “real-ize,” the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth.
However, there are difficulties in the process of starting a “Living the Teachings” group. Therefore, I will offer you the knowledge we gained, and perhaps enable you to avoid some of the mistakes we made. There is no real model to follow, it is not like Alcoholics Anonymous, nor like encounter or “psychological” process groups. The purpose of a “Living the Teachings” group is simply to provide an autonomous, safe place where a small number of Urantians can share their spiritual experiences as they cultivate the growth of their inner lives.
The premise is that we are each experts in the inner life-but only in our own. Therefore, there are no suggestions or advice given in our meetings unless asked for. There are no gurus, no special leaders. The process requires no special training or skills.
Before I explain the dynamics of such a group, let’s review, very briefly, what premises and purposes drive this kind of spiritual association.
[1]. SELF DEVELOPMENT. In stating the “five cardinal features of the kingdom of heaven” (p.1863), Jesus stated the first two as: 1. The pre-eminence of the individual and 2. The will as the determining factor in man’s experience. The Spiritual Fellowship Journal Members of a Living the Teachings group therefore seek the cultivation of the inner self, toward full use of one’s spiritual powers along the lines of excellence. In pursuing the spiritual Self-Actualizing process, regular, daily meditative prayer is not only of immense value for believers in the teachings, it is a requisite. In addition, we hold that the inner experience is something that we are creative participants in. In the inner life, the human will is totally sovereign over all issues of morality, and when obedient to the spiritual allurement of the Thought-Adjuster, the human will is in alignment with the will of God. All of this leads us to validate the truth that the inner life is eternally creative, and we create our own inner experience.
As we successfully integrate our human personalities, and as we gradually assume the responsibility for our inner lives, there gradually dawns in a spiritual seeker the desire to establish or discover something larger and more important than ourselves to devote his or her energies to. This could be a worthy cause, our children, a career, or any valuable activity that we love to do, and that we are able to do well in a creative, passionate and energetic way. Thus, we are led to the next requisite of spiritual Self-Actualization: Our gifts to the Supreme.
[2]. OUR GIFTS TO THE SUPREME. All Self-Actualizers (without exception, according to Abraham Maslow) are devoted to a mission which they believe is more important than anything else, including themselves. We are told on page 1000 that selfless service activity, in and of itself, facilitates the fastest and most efficient personal progress in the spiritual actualizing process. Even so, one cannot actualize in a vacuum. We need other people.
[3]. OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS. You are the child of the Highest Power in the universe, but you are not an only child. The Urantia Papers make it clear that there is “no basis for a fictitious guilt and sense of isolation;” so we declare ourselves to be children of the Universal Father-the Highest Power in the universe. Further, the Papers declare that personality cannot integrate and unfold in isolation. Men and women are innately social creatures; they are dominated by the craving of belongingness.
Living the Teachings meetings are predicated upon the premise of the Master that our spiritual self-actualization does not require continuous and repetitive self-examination, unlike Twelve Step Programs and most psychological methods. Living the Teachings methods are not an attempt to take the place of, nor improve upon, the spiritual techniques of introspective Twelve Step programs. What we are suggesting is an initiative toward further spiritual growth, one that lies beyond healing, something that the Papers tell us has never before been tried on a large scale.
Urantians know that some of us must look within to rid ourselves of old egoistic resentments and assume personal responsibility over our inner lives. The Master did not forbid self-examination in such cases. Virtually all psychology provides for conscientious introspection. However, Jesus did not advocate character building; he taught character growth. Spiritual self-actualization is like a tiny seed, if it begins to grow it will crowd out errors and flaws of omission.
We have come to believe that actualization of our highest spiritual potentials is the personal experience of realizing the Meta-Values of spiritual living. These realities of experience are progressively translated to new and higher levels of conviction and beauty. The Meta-Values of Truth, Beauty, Goodness and Love emerge or actualize most readily not by examining our areas of non-development, but rather by embracing a vision of what we ought to be. In this light we hold the Urantia Papers depiction of a world that is to be characterized not as a black background of evil and omissions with a few spots of white on it, but rather as a white background of spiritual reality with spots of black on it. In a battle of universe realities we Urantians hold the most good to be the most real, and therefore destined to triumph.
A Living the Teachings group is dedicated to nurturing individuals who are engaged in the process of striving to live at higher and higher levels of confidence and love. To this end, those of us in the group share our inner lives, and discuss our personal progress (or lack of progress) in achieving inner successes. As previously stated, there can be no self-appointed “experts” in such a group. We do not give advice unless it is asked for. We share as spiritual equals, and we are united by our goals — not by our beliefs. A Living the Teachings group is safe, loving, nurturing, and more spiritually progressive than any group process most of us have known. The key element is a singleness of purpose, that of helping one another define and reach higher and higher levels of living. To be successful and pleasant for all, there can be no competitiveness, nor secondary agendas.
In the process of creating a Living the Teachings group we had attempted open meetings for about a year, meetings patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous step programs, with typical group formats. None of these worked well. Then, at last, we arrived at the Living the Teachings pattern that worked for us. It is a new paradigm, so be tolerant and patient as you examine it
After about a year, we discovered that we had a nucleus of a few kindred Urantian believers who were still interested in the idea of meeting regularly to engage in a spiritual dynamic of group support for the individual spiritual self-actualizing process. This is the paramount suggestion: Begin with a group that contains Urantians with compatible spiritual values and goals, and who are willing to learn from one another. Establish a time frame of minimum commitment as a group, say six months or a year. Unless everyone agrees on adding a new member, maintain a closed group. You will discover that a trusting, sharing group suffers from casual drop-ins or curiosity seekers. We have discovered that seven or eight people is about maximum. We meet on Sundays, and have juggled the time from morning to evening several times to meet the needs of members.
Your Living the Teachings group will develop its own personality, and begin to have a life of its own. This group dynamic and wisdom will establish its own “rules,” so to speak. A sharing of Urantian beliefs and values among the group makes things run smoothly. In fact, groups of this kind, composed solely of Urantians, could be ideal in augmenting the more openly socialized functions of Urantian activities.
We have a rule that we are not to interrupt anyone who is talking. This has required, at times, the use of a “talking stone” which is passed from member to member. Only the person with the stone can talk. Again, we do not offer advice after someone speaks unless it is specifically asked for.
We have learned it is best to begin with a moment of silence, and a prayer offered by a member. This sets the tone of the meeting. We do not read any rules or guidelines, since we are all agreed that we are committed to living at our highest and achieving great actualization of our spiritual potentials. Such a commitment must be subject to continual re-definition.
The process the group engages in is the sharing of our inner lives. After a moment of silence and a prayer, we begin sharing what we have experienced in our spiritual lives for the previous week. We may talk about our failures or successes in living at our highest, our progress in prayer and meditation, or a troublesome problem, or an individual we have difficulty with. This group sharing is casual, there are no individual time limits. Sharing takes about an hour or so of our two hour meeting. We do not rush it.
We discovered that, after a time, we did not need a leader to conduct meetings. Some may prefer to designate a different leader each week. After each member shares, the leader could establish a spiritual topic, and develop the balance of the meeting around personal experience with this topic. The structure, method, or technique does not matter so much as the atmosphere the group generates.
The important thing is to make the ambiance of the meeting loving, safe, and fun. Our meetings have spiritual goals and use spiritual methods. We found it best to avoid much Urantian theory or psychological theory, even though there happened to be two professional therapists in our group. Guided meditations, when we use them, are lifting and fresh, and use wholesome images and symbols to stimulate the creative imagination.
We have a rule that we are not to interrupt anyone who is talking. This has required, at times, the use of a “talking stone” which is passed from member to member. Only the person with the stone can talk. Again, we do not offer advice after someone speaks unless it is specifically asked for. We do not critique the views of someone. “Cross talk” is not encouraged. (Cross talk is a give and take conversation that develops between two members while the rest look on.)
The principle here is that we are all spiritual equals. We are experts in only one person’s inner life, our own. Each individual must feel safe to speak without fear of a subtle, judgmental response. Of all the provisional “rules” we suggest, the “no advice or evaluation of our comments unless requested” is most important. The rest of the structure of the meeting depends upon who is leading it. If you use a leader, alternate each week, unless a topic is carried forward and the group agrees to keep the same leader for two or three, or even more meetings. (We once spent six weeks on meditation, with a group leader who was especially knowledgeable about it.)
This kind of spiritual dialogue is not for everyone. It is not conducive to the competitive intellectual arena of some Urantia study groups, or the “old-timer” syndrome of some Twelve Step meetings. Some people don’t like to share their inner lives and are embarrassed to do so. Although we Urantians all have in common certain deep spiritual hungers and longings, most of us are socially conditioned to avoid discussion about them; it is virtually a “forbidden dialogue.” For this reason, if there is not a good “fit” for a member with the group, it is better to let this individual go and perhaps form his or her own group along the lines they like. We all have different perspectives, and it is advisable that those who have similar perspectives and problems form their own groups. Limited, closed groups make membership precious, and each member of a group should wholeheartedly participate, or make room for someone else.
Great care must be taken in forming the initial group, because a difficult person can virtually paralyze progress. The root cause for such an individual’s behavior may be a different agenda, and harbored competitiveness or dislike for another member, different personal interpretations of the Papers, and so on. Expelling anyone from a spiritual group can be very difficult. Group solidarity is based upon loyalty, fairness, tolerance, and love. However, there is such a thing as the tyranny of the minority, and it is relatively easy for a Urantian who is less than sincere to take advantage of the group’s broad latitude. So, better to choose members very carefully than to deal with a problem member later on.
Meta-Values emerge as never before in an intimate, caring and supportive group. In our physical lives our senses tell us of the existence of things; our minds discover the reality of meanings, but spiritual experience reveals to us the true values of life. High levels of living are attained as a by-product of loving the Highest Power — the God of love. The most facile pathway to loving God is through loving your cosmic brothers and sisters: “In physical life the senses tell of the existence of things; mind discovers the reality of meanings; but the spiritual experience reveals to the individual the true values of life. These high levels of human living are attained in the supreme love of God and in the unselfish love of man. If you love your fellow men, you must have discovered their values… You can best discover values in your associates by discovering their motivation… If once you understand your neighbor, you will become tolerant, and this tolerance will grow into friendship and ripen into love.” (UB 100:4.4)
While I had understood this in an intellectual way, before our group process I had not experienced it — at least not on the level that limited social participation nurtured. The group dynamic is a socialization of the concept of personal religious experience. The group dynamic works, provided the individuals who participate are kindred spirits — that is — they share the same values. It must be stated again that there must be no intrusive personal theories that could make others in the group uncomfortable.
It can be a very trying experience if you gather a group of six or seven people, and they complete “sharing” with very brief statements, and you then discover only fifteen minutes of a planned two hour meeting have passed. This experience is common in the early stages of the group’s life. Therefore, it is wise to prepare suggested Urantia Paper discussion topics.
As a broad suggestion, Living the Teachings can be divided into five easy-to-access ideas, as expressed by the Master on page 1863. You can start anywhere you wish, and easily develop a discussion around any of these concepts:
Each of these areas provide an abundant number of topics, some of which can be taken from the book. Keep in mind that it is not the purpose of the group to discuss theory, but rather to discuss personal experience. Try to steer discussions away from theory and into the realm of what we actually experience in our lives. You may wish to have a good reader in the group read a section of the Urantia Papers to stimulate conversation and sharing.
The living experience of individually sharing the inner life with the Highest Power is a cosmic means for most spiritually hungry Urantians to avoid some of the sting of the loneliness of personality isolation with its associated feelings of helplessness.
However, there is an authentic value to the socialization of personal, inner spiritual religious experience. “It is far better to have a religion without a church than a church without religion.” (wuben 99 6 1) The religious turmoil of the twentieth century may be the chaos that proceeds growth in religious institutions. The purpose of a Living the Teachings group is to dramatize the loyalties of each individual Urantian to growth decisions and Meta-Value ideals in their personal lives. The group also enhances the goals of unselfish service to humankind; enriches the ideals and highest potentials of ideal family life; and provides a degree of wise group council and spiritual guidance.
However, the last thing a group like this wants to foster is a “chosen people” or elitist attitude. The important thing is the dynamic of sharing as spiritual equals with the desire to Self-Actualize along spiritual lines. We should understand that there is a great difference between personal religious experience and the “warm fuzzies” of the social Urantian experience.
If other people you know want to experience this kind of group and you are “full” or have doubts about this individual being a good fit in yours, encourage them to form their own. Regardless of a group’s general interpretation of the Urantia Papers, a Living the Teachings program can help individual members make extraordinary progress if it is composed of kindred spirits with enlightened goals.