© 1990 Melissa Wells
© 1990 The Urantia Book Fellowship (formerly Urantia Brotherhood)
by Melissa Wells
I’m Melissa Wells, and I’m from Tampa, Florida, where I work as a journalist. I am raising a 12-year-old son named Grayson and my 10-year-old daughter, Rebecca, who just might be lucky enough to make it to age eleven.
Besides being a long-time student of The Urantia Book, I have spent the past couple of years working the twelve steps from Alcoholics Anonymous.
At the time that I was offered the opportunity to speak at this meeting on the subject of the recognition of religious living in others, I had just recently committed to attending 90 meetings at AA in 90 days. Obviously, I wish to share with you the fact that I am an alcoholic. I do this without reservation, because it is only since realizing the stern nature of this disease and seeking help from my Higher Power in overcoming it that I have come to find a real measure of lasting peace within myself and harmony with my fellows.
The significance of attending 90 consecutive days of AA meetings is in the fact that it has given me the rich experience of sharing with others how God has provided spiritual solutions to life-threatening material difficulties. This has been an astounding quarter-year of my life. I have grown tremendously as a result of this spiritual experience. An increasing awareness of God at work in my own life has come during this investigation of the AA way of life.
I am not here to sell AA; but I have elected to talk about a technique faithfully applied by winners in AA that is quite relevant to our topic — spiritual sharing as a pathway to God. The purpose of an AA meeting is for recovering individuals to share their experience, strength, and hope for the benefit of those still suffering from the ravages of alcoholism and addiction.
Sharing in an AA meeting is something akin to becoming an oracle for those who have learned how to humble the ego and let their Higher Power speak through them. At each meeting, we read from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous: “Remember that we deal with alcohol — cunning, baffling, powerfull Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power — that One is God. May you find Him now! Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.”
And from the Big Book of Urantia, Jesus said: “Salvation is not for those who are unwilling to pay the price of wholehearted dedication to doing my Father’s will …every one who sincerely desires to find eternal life by entrance into the kingdom of God shall certainly find such everlasting salvation…And they who shall thus take the kingdom in spiritual power and by the persistent assaults of living faith…to all who are honest of heart and sincere in faith, it remains eternally true: ‘Behold, I stand at the doors of men’s hearts and knock, and if any man will open to me, I will come in and sup with him and will feed him with the bread of life; we shall be one in spirit and purpose, and so shall we ever be brethren’…” (UB 166:3.4-7)
Many times have I gone into a meeting feeling at odds with myself and the world, and by the end of it, I walked away with joy and serenity. All I had to do was go to the meeting, listen, and partake of the bread of life that awaits anyone who is honest, open, and willing to change.
If I really want to feel good and if I have pertinent experience on the topic presented at the meeting, I will share my own strength and hope. For in the act of sharing the small piece of truth that God has given me, I discover deeper levels of happiness, joy, and freedom from my addictions or the desire to medicate against pressing material difficulties.
It is so simple. It is so simple. I believe that in the midst of these believers is a power greater than themselves, the Spirit of Truth ministering healing to our very real and common afflictions — a spiritual bath perhaps. We experience the benefit of friendly fellowship with our human brothers and sisters, and a spiritual communion with our Higher Power who is leading us to health and happiness.
Each day in AA is a day of gratitude to God, who gives us the miracle of not picking up a drink — and a whole lot more. Each day through applying the spiritual principles of the twelve steps — which is a simple program based on the need for a moral inventory, confession of personal defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God — we live life a little better and enjoy it a lot more. And we learn that God does for us in the mainstream of life that which we cannot do for ourselves.
I have had the pleasure of meeting individuals who have worked the AA way of life and have transformed into loving, happy, productive members of society. One such acquaintance, Bill W. — not the original Bill W. who founded AA, but “my” Bill W., as I like to call him — from whom I have learned very much about life and God and sobriety, was at one time so sick in his disease that he was incarcerated for armed robbery. Today, people sit at the edges of their chairs to listen to this man share his experience, strength, and hope. And in every sharing, he unfailingly says that we never, ever have to have another bad day, and that prayer guides us to everything we need in life. He exhorts us to each day ask God to help us to fear less and love more. And he speaks with an infectious tone of real serenity and lasting happiness. This former con artist is now a charming spiritualist — and he is giving his message of comfort at every opportunity to individuals hungry for the good news that God’s will for us is to be happy, joyous, and free.
Somehow hearing Bill W. speak these words of light made them real in my own experience, for shortly after I listened to him and desired to apply these truths to my life, the opportunity came for me to choose God’s will along those lines. I had a clear-cut choice: I could react to a situation over which I had no control with my customary anger, resentment, and jealousy, or I could turn it all over to God and choose to be happy with my life just the way it is. I asked God for help in this moment — and my mind started recalling all the good things for which I have gratitude. As my feelings of self-pity and self-doubt turned into feelings of gratitude, a deep change occurred within me. I was genuinely happy. Only seconds before I had been completely miserable, but miraculously I became happy. Nothing in my external world had changed, but everything inside of me changed.
Since that time, I have an option as to whether or not I am happy. Many, many opportunities arise for me to become restless, irritable, discontented, but my choice for today and each day is to be happy. And the good news is that it is God’s will for me, and so each day as I choose happiness, I choose God’s will. It is so simple; it is so simple.
Before I ventured into the meeting rooms of AA, I presumed that God’s will for me was something along the lines that if I wanted some person, place, or thing in my life, then automatically it was not God’s will for me. For those who understand transactional analysis — with terms such as child, adult, and critical parent representing aspects of the human temperament — I had relegated to God the role of critical parent in my life. Now mind you, this was quite unconscious until I heard Bill W. enthusiastically say at a meeting that God’s will is for us to be happy, joyous, and free. He convinced me by the consistent peace and joy which he carries. I learned from him the power of the spoken word, for now that I have accepted happiness as my choice for living life, I see the message laden in the gospel which Jesus gave his followers. It’s written in the text of The Urantia Book to such an extent that I’m amazed at how blind I was before this experience. But it’s true — I did not allow myself to see the joy of Jesus’ life until I chose joy for myself. I was rooted in his sorrow, but now that is a thing of the past.
How could I miss these words from The Urantia Book all these years: “You shall not portray your teacher as a man of sorrows. Future generations shall know also the radiance of our joy, the buoyance of our good will, and the inspiration of our good humor. We proclaim a message of good news which is infectious in its transforming power. Our religion is throbbing with new life and new meanings. Those who accept this teaching are filled with joy and in their hearts are constrained to rejoice evermore. Increasing happiness is always the experience of all who are certain about Cod.” (UB 159:3.10)
And even this happiness is a gift from God-he helped me make the choice by directing me to the right place to hear a winner talk about happiness and freedom, and then helped me to actually apply it to my own way of living when the moment of truth came.
I have heard it said many times at a meeting that gratitude makes possible God’s grace in our lives. And I have heard the most delicate spiritual statement stender feelings of love and praise for God-spoken by men and women from all walks of life. Most bizarre are the tender sharings of bikers and rednecks. Yes, even Bubba is taking hold of God in his life. One friend looks as though he would as soon punch you as talk to you and I’m certain he did plenty of that before joining the AA way of life. His story includes the time he drove his car through a bar because of an unpaid bill. And then there was the time he rammed the bow of a Coast Guard cutter, refusing to follow their orders to dock his boat since he was drunk. And today, well into his recovery, he talks about God filling the empty hole in his heart that he used to try to fill with alcohol.
My favorite alcoholic from AA is Al, some kind of an alcoholic, as he always says. He reminds me of Dudley Moore’s beloved character, Arthur. Of course, one must imagine Arthur in recovery to accurately visualize Al. Along with a slight physical resemblance, Al has an uncanny sense of humor, just like Arthur. Every time Al shares, he has us rolling on the floor with laughter. Al has taught me the healing nature of hilarity. By laughing at our selves in our disease, we are all the more able to enjoy the fruits of the spiritual life. And weare reminded of the Eleventh Commandment: “Thou shalt not take thyself too seriously.”
One of Al’s more thought-provoking comments is how thoroughly he has turned his problems over to God. Al says he doesn’t have any problems, that today he gave God quite a few, but they are no longer his own. And what’s more important, Al is letting God, the expert, solve these problems.
This goes against our human nature. But if we trust God with absolute abandon, then we enable God to work for us. The way Al puts it is: It’s just like the story of Chicken Little, who tried to keep the sky from falling. Today, it’s not my sky. If it’s God’s will for the sky to fall, let the mother fall. And if that sounds far fetched, let me present it in the context of teachings from The Urantia Book.
Jesus portrayed the profound surety of the God-knowing mortal when he said: “To a God-knowing kingdom believer, what does it matter if all things earthly crash?’ Temporal securities are vulnerable, but spiritual sureties are impregnable. When the flood tides of human adversity, selfishness, cruelty, hate, malice, and jealousy beat about the mortal soul, you may rest in the assurance that there is one inner bastion, the citadel of the spirit, which is absolutely unassailable; at least this is true of every human being who has dedicated the keeping of his soul to the indwelling spirit of the eternal God … Such spirit-born individuals are so remotivated in life that they can calmly stand by while their fondest ambitions perish and their keenest hopes crash; they positively know that such catastrophes are but the redirecting cataclysms which wreck one’s temporal creations preliminary to the rearing of the more noble and enduring realities of a new and more sublime level of universe attainment.” (UB 100:2.7-8)
That may sound likea far cry from “letting the mother fall,” but the spirit in which they are spoken is the same.
It is God’s reality, and ours to accept, adjust to, and enjoy. And the individuals I meet who are adept at that adventure in living are the spiritual heroes of my generation. The winners of AA have learned how to do this, and quietly, in those smoke-filled meeting rooms, they share their lessons with others.
Another delightful sort of spiritual sharing is the intimacy shared by two individuals. While I have been fortunate to have brief exchanges of spiritual sharing, I must admit that my disease of alcoholism has hampered me in the area of personal relationships. What I’m saying here is that I’m not much of an expert on this topicunless you want me to talk about what NOT to do. So, I find it helpful to go to the fount of wisdom available to us in The Urantia Book. And I love to contemplate the beautiful outlook found in the philosophy of Rodan of Alexandria.
Rodan’s lessons on spiritual friendships — which are worth any sacrifice requisite for their possession, in his opinion — include the notable statements: “Many noble human impulses die because there is no one to hear their expression. Truly, it is not good for man to be alone …Fear, envy, and conceit can be prevented only by intimate contact with other minds…Friendship enhances the joys and glorifies the triumphs of life. Loving and intimate human associations tend to rob suffering of its sorrow and hardship of much of its bitterness. The presence of a friend enhances all beauty and exalts every goodness.” (UB 160:2.6)
Rodan goes on to speak of how we can “enrich the soul by pooling our respective spiritual possessions …the mind of one augments its spiritual values by gaining much of the insight of the other.”
It is a joy to discover another individual who has insight and wisdom to share, who is gifted at bringing the truth to light, and who does so with humor and good will. I have been fortunate to discover such a person in my own community. We have a friendship that brings to life these potent concepts delivered by Rodan of Alexandria. We both know that we want the best good for each other and that God brought us together.
The intimate, spiritual sharing discovered in the devotion of genuine friendship is the most exhilarating and comforting of human experiences. Parenting — another sort of spiritual sharing — ranks right up there, too. Both types of relationship evoke the best and the worst qualities of my character. As such, they mirror the parts of myself that are closest to God and the parts that will be shed as I grow into a mature person. With such intimacy, my total being is involved. In most social situations, I can skirt uncomfortable areas because I know that shortly the social situation will change. Not so with the spiritual friend relationship and the parent-child relationship. The commitment in these relations is lifelong, and the good, the bad, and the ugly — or the sharing of the ebbing and flowing of personality strengths and weaknesses — are innate in our creative living.
It’s challenging; it’s an adventure. And I wouldn’t miss this rich experience for anything. I agree with Rodan; it is worth any sacrifice requisite for its posses- sion. But in order to maintain my emotional sobriety in such intimacy with another person, I need the foundation of another special relationship.
And this brings me to the next aspect of spiritual sharing I’d like to discuss.
In order to give the best of myself to the group or to another person, I need a daily time of closeness — a spiritual sharing — with God. Prayer and meditation are the avenues of communion that create the perception of a connection with my Higher Power. By dedicating a portion of my day to God, every other portion of the day is filled with an assurance that all is well — regardless of whether I think things are good or bad for that day. What I think or feel continually fluctuates, but deep within I know that all things work for the best for those who love God, and, accordingly, my first priority is to love God. The rest will take care of itself — remember, let go and let God.
In my AA program I have been taught to begin each day on my knees in prayer to ask God to show me the correct thought or action if I am confused or agitated throughout the day. And then at the end of the day I am instructed to hit my knees again and thank God for all the good that came during this day. Gratitude makes possible God’s grace. His grace has always been there; our gratitude opens our awareness to his bounty.
One of my favorite prayers is that of St. Francis of Assisi. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book from AA uses this prayer as an aid to help alcoholics learn how to pray and meditate. I’d like to share this with you:
“We will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and grow. Most certainly we shall need bracing air and an abundance of food. But first of all we shall want sunlight; nothing much can grow in the dark. Meditation is our step out into the sun. How, then, shall we meditate?”
“Well, we might start like this. First let’s look at a really good prayer. Its author was a man who for several hundred years now has been rated as a saint. We won’t be biased or scared off by that fact, because although he was not an alcoholic, he did, like us, go through the emotional wringer. And as he came out the other side of that painful experience, this prayer was his expression of what he could then see, feel, and wish to become:”
“‘Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.’”
“‘O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.’”
“It will help if we can drop all resistance to what our friend says. For in meditation, debate has no place. We rest quietly with the thoughts of someone who knows, so that we may experience and learn.”
“Let us become willing to partake and be strengthened and lifted up by the sheer spiritual power, beauty, and love of which these magnificent words are the carrier.”
And as we learn how to pray and meditate, as we give our human consciousness to God and accept his presence within ourselves, we become more than we are. “When man gives God all that he has, God makes that man more than he is,” says The Urantia Book. My personal experience is confirming this. And I see it at work in the lives of others.
Finally, I wish to speak of one of my very favorite persons and his approach to spiritual sharing that I’ve discovered in my study of The Linantia Book.
“Jesus spread good cheer everywhere he went. He was full of grace and truth…Jesus could help men so much because he loved them so sincerely. He truly loved each man, each woman, and each child. He could be such a true friend because of his remarkable insight — he knew so fully what was in the heart and in the mind of man. He was an interested and keen observer. He was an expert in the comprehension of human need, clever in detecting human longings.”
“Jesus was never in a hurry. He had time to comfort his fellow men ‘as he passed by.’ And he always made his friends feel at ease. He was a charming listener. He never engaged in the meddlesome probing of the souls of his associates. As he comforted hungry minds and ministered to thirsty souls, the recipients of his mercy did not so much feel that they were confessing to him as that they were conferring with him. They had unbounded confidence in him because they saw he had so much faith in them.”
“He dispensed health and scattered happiness naturally and gracefully as he journeyed through life. It was literally true, ‘he went about doing good.’ And it behooves the Master’s followers in all ages to learn to minister as ‘they pass by’ — to do unselfish good as they go about their daily duties.” (UB 171:7.1-10)
When it comes to spiritual sharing, remember: It’s so simple; just let go and let God.