© 2000 Sara Blackstock
© 2000 The Urantia Book Fellowship
| “I Will Tell Them A Story” | Volume 2, Number 2, 2000 (Summer) — Index | The Ethics of Genetic Control and Social Engineering |
Parenting has,always been a strange mixture of tradition and myth (which is often no different than hit and miss). Parents strive to express one of the most powerful and ingrained emotions - parental love - to and through their children. Here we are - thousands upon thousands of books and methods later, and billions of bits of advice from grandparents and other well-meaning family members and friends - still in confusion about how to “do” this most difficult of jobs, which, when done well brings great joy and satisfaction. It contributes to the welfare of family and community, and when it doesn’t seem to work well, brings guilt and great trials to family and community.
There are no simple answers, and a part of parenting will probably always be part hit/miss/tradition/myth, but we can tip the scales in favor of successful parenting. Fifty years of science are providing a foundation upon which to think about parenting. Like other mortal realms, parenting involves all three realms of life: the physical (changing diapers, feeding, clothing), the mental (learning the facts of human development and correlating them into meaningful, unified interpretations), and the spiritual (knowing and living not only our values - truth, beauty and goodness - but as importantly, our loyalties.)
Preparing for parenthood on Urantia ranges from “It just happened to me and I couldn’t do anything about it,” to high schoolers carrying a chicken’s egg around for a week with complete responsibility for its welfare, to consciously and conscientiously prepare for parenthood through examination of one’s own past, looking at one’s values and loyalties and studying parenting as the science it truly is. Researchers in the fields of genetics, sociology, psychology, anthropology, education, physiology, anatomy, nutrition, and lately the neurosciences and biomolecular medicine are researching almost every aspect of human behavior. The information resulting can be pooled and synthesized into a paradigm of parenting which can be studied and understood by parents and parents-to-be.
Until I became aware of the contributions of the many realms of science which can be applied to parenting, especially in the neurosciences, I often wondered what subjects could take so much time in the demanding and compulsory schools of parenting mentioned in The Urantia Book:
. . . Permission to marry is only granted after one year’s notice of intention, and after both bride and groom present certificates showing that they have been duly instructed in the parental schools regarding the responsibilities of married life. (UB 72:3.8)
The home life of this people has greatly improved during the last century. Attendance of parents, both fathers and mothers, at the parental schools of child culture is compulsory. Even the agriculturists who reside in small country settlements carry on this work by correspondence, going to the nearby centers for oral instruction once in ten days - every two weeks, for they maintain a five day week. (UB 72:3.2)
What is it that parents or parents-to-be could be studying that would be so crucial to the development of children as to be “compulsory?” How hard is it to learn how to hold and diaper a baby? What would be included in the curriculum of such intense studies for the “Parenting Certificate” before marriage? What required studies could be undertaken that evidently have greatly improved the home life of the people on this nearby planet?
Even though we are a long way from “compulsory” parental education, there are some members of our society who willingly enter into the studies of genetics, sociology, psychology, anthropology, education, physiology, anatomy, nutrition, the neurosciences and biomolecular medicine in order to educate ourselves to be able to raise our children with the greatest of advantages, with love, wisdom and knowledge.
Since we are told: “This recital of the affairs of a neighboring planet is made by special permission with the intent of advancing civilization and augmenting governmental evolution on Urantia.” (UB 72:12.3) it would be to our collective advantage to build a curriculum for the parents on our planet who want to educate themselves, and who have spiritual values and loyalties.
Do we want our children to be able to have the greatest potential for receiving truth? How can we provide an environment for them to ascend the circles? I believe we have been given a formula which can help unify those areas of science which apply to “spiritual parenting.”
. . . It is to the mind of perfect poise, housed in a body of clean habits, stabilized neural energies, and balanced chemical functions - when the physical, mental and spiritual powers are in triune harmony of development - that a maximum of light and truth can be imparted with a minimum of temporal danger or risk to the real welfare of such a being. By such a balanced growth does man ascend the circles of planetary progression one by one, from the seventh to the first. (UB 110:6.4)
This triodity of the physical, mental and spiritual aspects of children can be used as a foundational model for forming a parenting curriculum, which would include garnered knowledge from the many fields of science mentioned above. AND the timing is just right! It is a fortuitous aspect of today’s world that current scientific research is driving us very quickly to a holistic paradigm of looking at who we mortals are and how we can plot the optimum development of our parenting potential.
Candace B. Pert, Ph. D., is a research professor in the Department of Physiology and Biophysics at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington, D. C. In her most recent book, Molecules of Emotion, she shares her research in the field of neuroscience. She uses the term bodymind to define the area of her research which shows how our thoughts and emotions affect each other and almost every aspect of our physical being. This body of information gives new depth to that citation in The Urantia Book, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” It turns out that every emotion, every thought we have has a positive or negative effect on almost every cell in our bodymind system.
We have known since the early 1900s that the brain and body are connected through an electrical system. It has been common knowledge that the neurons the nerve cells of the brain - form an intricate system of little transmitters sending out signals as discharges of electricity jump from neuron to neuron (recall the earlier quote regarding “stabilized neural energies…”).
The “chemical brain” came into focus as a second nervous system in the 1970s with the discovery of the brain peptides and cell receptors which bind to the strings of amino acids which make up the peptides. Serotonin and dopamine are examples of a class of neurotransmitters which bind to the receptors of cells in the brain. They are part of a class of ligands called neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters carry information across the gap of synapse between neurons in the brain. Specifically, dopamine and serotonin are opiates and bind to opiate receptors. As the name implies, these are natural “feel good” compounds.
When these neurotransmitters dock or land on the receptors of cells, they pass information into the cell, telling it what it should do - divide, shrink, open or close channels of energy. This information translates into big changes in the body - changes that affect the physiology, the behavior and the mood of an individual. The discovery of the opiate receptors and the natural opiates produced by the brain has helped scientists, psychologists, and doctors understand addiction. When the receptor on an opiate cell is taken up by an addictive chemical like caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, marijuana, opium, etc., two things happen: there is no room for the natural opiates to land or dock because the space is already taken up, and there are fewer and fewer of the natural opiates made because there is no need for them. Even after the “foreign” opiate is stopped, there can be a long period before the cell receptors develop a sensitivity again to the natural opiates produced by the brain. It is quite common for children to be “addicted” to the caffeine in the soft drinks they are downing by the gallons. They “need” it. Is this information parents should have? You bet!
Scientists were able to observe the “chemical brain” and thus were given the means to decipher what “balanced chemical function…” might look like. Peptides can be seen binding to receptors throughout the whole bodymind system. This binding causes complex physiological changes in the cells, which in turn can cause major shifts in the emotions. This molecular action created the “basic units for a language used by cells through the organism to com-municate across systems…” (Molecules of Emotion, p. 27) The combination of the electrical and chemical brain has also been found to be intimately connected to the heart through direct neural and hormonal compounds. This gives only a very sketchy idea of amazing and profound pathways of action and change in the body.
What does this information have to do with parenting and teaching? Everything concerning our children’s physical, mental, and spiritual development. For example, it is a fact that there are windows of opportunity in brain development during the fetal stage and the first two years of life, when the synaptic nerve growth is at its greatest, that language is formed by the child hearing language. In Ghosts from the Nursery - Tracing the Roots of Violence by Robin Karr-Morse and Meredith S. Wiley, the authors tell of this scene: “At Rockefeller University there is a birdcage and it’s quiet. The scientists tell us that they’ve learned that when baby songbirds like these don’t hear a parent singing, when they grow up, they will never learn to sing,.” (p. 32) Fortunately we know that “never” only applies to life on this planet, but even if we can make up for it in the mansion worlds, what a loss of potential. This complex, fluid and intertwining study of all of the above sciences, tied in with our own hearts and emotions, hopes, dreams and love for our children. What a powerful mix! Science and love!
Another way the results of scientific studies might apply to raising children is to understand that our children’s physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health is directly related to how they FEEL about the way we FEEL about them and their behavior. This concrete understanding with the backing of science might help us deal with our parental negative emotions with more control. It is our emotional tenor as we interact with our children, which allows children to take in information unhindered by outside negative emotions. Research at the Institute of Heartmath in Boulder Creek, CA, has shown that the heart is a balancing organ and produces the hormone ANP, which is called the “balancing hormone.” This research has shown that,.“the higher perceptual faculties in the brain perform better when electrical rhythms produced by the heart are balanced and harmonious.” (Teaching Children to Love, Doc Lew Childre, p. 16)
What do negative emotions do? “All physical poisons greatly retard the efforts of the Adjuster to exalt the material mind, while the mental poisons of fear, anger, envy, jealousy, suspicion, and intolerance likewise tremendously interfere with the spiritual progress of the evolving soul.” (UB 110:1.5) The Heartmath research shows that there is a physiological aspect to the effect of positive and negative emotions, as well as spiritual. I have seen the effect of anger on a child at the day care center. A parent comes to pick the child up and can’t find her coat. The parent berates the child for carelessness, and demands she “think” about where it might be. The child is not attending to where the coat is, but instead to the emotional state of the parent. If the parent realized that anger was slowing down the process of going home, he or she might develop an increased awareness. I have placed my hand on the chest of a child who had just experienced negative emotions coming from another child or adult. That heart is pounding, and yet, from the child’s appearance, you might not realize that this pounding heart is producing hormones which affect the brain. Remember Jesus’ response to the only time he ever saw his father angrywith him: “Jesus was startled by his father’s display of emotion; he had never before been made to feel the personal sting of his father’s indignation and was astonished and shocked beyond expression.” (UB 124:3.8)
The need for a parenting curriculum was mentioned earlier. A Science of Parenting would be a big piece of the curriculum. If it were elevated to the realm of a science, more people might be compelled to study it like they study astronomy, biophysics, or psychology. Sciences are overlapping - biology is combining with physics; theology is meshing with quantum physics; neurosciences are intertwining with the sciences of nutrition. When parents understand that at least one third of parenting is a science that can be studied, understood and applied to everyday life with children, then they will be able to ground their “love”. All parents “love” their children, but this feeling can be moved from the realm of sentiment into the arenas of science with actualities which can be applied to the rigors of everyday life.
I am not a scientist. I just work with hundreds of kids a day, and have for 30 years. I struggle to educate myself on the concepts I have attempted to share with you because I see the effect of this knowledge every day. When a child comes to tell a teacher something, and this could be a twelve-year-old as well as a four-year-old, that child has already “read” the emotional state of the adult concerning the approaching child. This will affect how open the child will be to the adult’s interaction, information and guidance. The science of emotion and understanding is real. Molecules of emotion are real, material parts of the bodymind system. The heart and brain are intimately connected with rhythms and hormones. And our children know this at the most basic level.
Sara Blackstock has worked with children for most of her life. Currently, she is the director of a large day care center, and her work for the Urantia movement has revolved around her interest in families and children. Sara has a grown son who was brought up with The Urantia Book. She is devoted to kindling the spark of God in children and youth.
| “I Will Tell Them A Story” | Volume 2, Number 2, 2000 (Summer) — Index | The Ethics of Genetic Control and Social Engineering |