© 1994 The Fellowship for readers of The Urantia Book
Editor’s Note: This is a story about someone who has regrets and wishes things could have been different. This person wishes to remain anonymous.
As a teenager I thought that when I finished my education I would get married. It was my desire to find the right mate and stay with him forever … through good times and bad times, sickness and health, richer or poorer, till death do us part. I believed this was the way it should be.
Now I know that it is possible to lose touch with your mate, to grow apart. There is no way to define the process, but it happens.
For several years I tried to interest my husband in The Urantia Book, but he very tactfully declined any part of it, except the teachings of God and Jesus. I was taken by this bold, new work of truth that seemed so right.
The more I read, the more I wanted to share it with others. I ventured out to meet other readers of the book, though my husband declined to go with me. After a few meetings, he began to resent my going, so I backed off. But only for a short while.
The study I did in my quiet time was wonderful, but I wanted to have interaction with other readers. I had met several people with whom I could discuss the concepts of The Urantia Book in a fulfilling way and I wanted to be with them.
The craving to study The Urantia Book changed my life and I eventually became more involved in a study group.
I met a man who was kind, intelligent, interesting and had a good background in religion. He knew the Bible well and liked reading The Urantia Book. You can imagine the consequences of this situation.
I made a bold choice to separate from my husband, and after a short time I realized that I wanted a divorce. I was tired of hanging on by a slim thread and suppressing my desire to be with other readers of The Urantia Book.
I was forever wondering if I had done right or wrong and if I could I ever reconcile the decision. I couldn’t stop thinking about the pain I had caused.
Although I’ll never know unless God shows me, I’ll always ponder my choice. Sometimes it is hard to know which path the Heavenly Father would have us take.
Disappointments are considered a plus, not a minus, because we gain sympathetic understanding in the process of feeling the pain while enduring the experience. We also come closer to our Heavenly Father.
If you ever go through a divorce, I sympathize with you, but I couldn’t tell you what is best. The importance of making decisions comes with painful growth.
A strong family life depends on the character of the man and the woman as well as the two together.
In Paper 1.53, Jesus stresses the need to forget the past and continue going forward in life. He says that your sins are forgiven and you must forgive yourself and go on.
He even tells us not to harbor guilt. This is one of the most difficult feelings to overcome. Guilt is poison to the soul and mind. Instead, I choose to pray for others, serve my fellows and practice the religion of Jesus.
Divorce was one situation that Jesus didn’texperience. Idon’t think he would ever consider such a thing. The pattern of the universe is decidedly a matter of complete loyalty to one another.
I can hear my father say, “Don’t take yourself so seriously. You are just a babe in God’s eyes and He understands you.”