© 1994 Claudia Ayers and Larry Watkins
© 1994 The Fellowship for readers of The Urantia Book
By Claudia Ayers and Larry Watkins, Sacramento, California
Contemporary writers often express the viewpoint that men and women are essentially alike in goals and aspirations, mental function and social needs. Except for biologic disparity, the differences between men and women are frequently assumed to be manifestations of socialization processes. These suppositions are not supported by The Urantia Book.
In our study of the complementary natures and potential of men and women in partnership, we depict, contrary to these current contentions, the emphasis of The Urantia Book that women and men are not essentially the same nor are we expected to achieve the same goals. (See Group I quotes.)
We are created as two distinct types of beings, two varieties of the same species. This is not a cosmic mistake. There is meaning and plan to such diversity. Distinctly different, the sexes are frameworks upon which our mortal characters express divine potentials, particularly in developing creative partnerships. Teamwork and cooperation between men and women are essential to human development. (See Group 2 quotes.)
A number of current articles and books acknowledge that gender differences are real and they show up early. An article in Redbook (Sept. 1992, Susan Chira) says, “From the moment they enter the classroom, boys and girls tend to behave differently.”
In a popular book, You Just Don’t Understand, Deborah Tannen relates after observing second graders, “Comparing the boys and girls of the same age I had the feeling I was looking at two different species.” She goes on to say that even from early childhood, males learn to get status and identity from independence while females gain standing by developing intimacy. Men’s interest in the details of politics, news and sports seems to parallel women’s interest in the details of personal lives. The game women play is “Do you like me?” The game men play is “Do you respect me?”
An article by Lori Andrews in Parents (April 1986) explains that “males tend to view themselves more as individuals, while females view themselves as part of a web of relationships.”
As a result, the ways men and women communicate with each other are often confusing.
Tannen captured a concern of many women when she wrote, “Some women fear, with justification, that any observation of gender differences will be heard as implying that it is women who are different — different from the standard, which is whatever men are. The male is seen as normative; the female as departing from the norm.”
She went on to say, “Pretending that women and men are the same hurts women, because the ways they are treated are based on the norms for men.”
Men tend to use an interaction style which challenges authority and jockeys for position. They gain status by asserting an individual and independent view. Most women tend to seek interconnectedness, intimacy, relating by consensus, group processing, cooperation and gain status when well liked.
A man who believes he treats women and men equally may be using the same masculine communications style with women that he uses with men, a style which can cause hard feelings among women.
While there is considerable overlap in the following list of characteristics, studies generally support the following gender-related character traits:
| Males generally are: | Females generally are: |
|---|---|
| independent | interconnected |
| objective | subjective |
| active | neat |
| competitive | tactful |
| logical | intuitive |
| decision makers | collaborative workers |
| providers | nurturers |
| directors | comforters |
| aggressive | passive |
| bold | patient and kind |
| courageous | gentle and meek |
| strong | sensitive and sincere |
| autocratic | democratic |
| spatial thinkers | artistic |
| motivators | responsive |
| specialty teachers | generalists |
| selfish | selfless |
| doers | good listeners |
Even though The Urantia Book confirms that men and women are not essentially the same nor expected to achieve the same goals, from a feminist point of view it has some surprising things to say in support of basic feminist attitudes on equal rights. (See Group 3 quotes.)
Numerous accounts of the historical struggle between men and women are given in The Urantia Book. (See Group 4 quotes.)
Many other passages relate the values of partnership, especially in relationship to the family. (See Group 5 quotes.)
The role religion plays in retarding the progress of equality between men and women is evident. (See Group 6 quotes.)
The revealed religion of The Urantia Book may do more to discourage and neutralize the dominating role men have held over women than has been proclaimed since Jesus was among us. The message to be taken to contemporary social policy idealists is: Be aware that inherent differences between the sexes have value and must not be pushed aside in the otherwise appropriate goal of obtaining equal rights for women.
Jesus is the role model for the development of our character. The primary intent of Jesus’ earth mission was spiritual. His life demonstrated the gospel of the kingdom, the family relationship between God and creatures.
Jesus was successful in staying clear of the social and political issues of his times. Yet, to those with the eyes to see, he demonstrated a sociopolitical ideal in gender relations. Furthermore, in one being, he exemplified the ideal character values for both masculine and feminine roles. (See Group 7 quotes.)
There is a divine plan exalting the relationship between masculine and feminine personality revealed in The Urantia Book. It is portrayed in the relationship between the Creator Son and the Creative Mother Spirit. Their roles are dissimilar, yet they work in harmony for the benefit of all their creation. In this divine relationship are symbolized appropriate gender roles for mortals. As we work to develop our potentials through partnership relationships, this important celestial relationship becomes our most meaningful study. (See Group 8 quotes.)
¶ Quotes for Study
Group 1 — Men and Women Are Not the Same
| Page | Begins With/Ends With |
|---|---|
| UB 69:3.8 | Differentiation based on diverse…/skilled labor. |
| UB 84:5.3-14 | The modern idea…/equal terms. |
| UB 84:6.2-8 | The partnership…/husband and wife. |
| UB 111:4.6 | Snow crystals are…/always unique. |
Group 2 — Cooperation Is A Necessity
| Page | Begins With/Ends With |
|---|---|
| UB 28:5.15 | There are the…/your fellows. |
| UB 68:1.4-5 | Primitive human…/human civilization. |
| UB 84:1.9 | Regardless of the…/happiness. |
| UB 111:4.7 | Happiness and joy…/with others. |
| UB 133:5.6 | Mathematics asserts…/its parts. |
| UB 160:2.1 | 2. The Art of Living…/of maturity. |
Group 3 — Attitudes of Equality
| Page | Begins With/Ends With |
|---|---|
| UB 52:2.7-8 | This is the…/family life. |
| UB 83:6.1 | 6. True Monogamy…/self-perpetuation. |
| UB 83:8.8-9 | The ideals of…/past generations. |
| UB 84:5.7 | Science…/woman power. |
| UB 150:1.3 | It was most…/out in practice. |
| UB 167:5.5 | And so, while Jesus refused…/divorce privileges. |
Group 4 — Struggle Between Men and Women
| Page | Begins With/Ends With |
|---|---|
| UB 69:3.11 | Specialization based…/furnishing the home. |
| UB 69:7.5 | When man was…/human history. |
| UB 83:7.7-8 | The high degree…/evolving mores. |
| UB 84:3.7 | Woman has always…/methods of labor. |
| UB 84:4.1 | 4. Woman’s Status…/mode of existence. |
| UB 84:5.10-14 | In the ideals…/equal terms. |
Group 5 — Value of Partnership
| Page | Begins With/Ends With |
|---|---|
| UB 68:2.8 | Almost everything…/to their children. |
| UB 83:8.6-9 | Marriage always…/generations. |
| UB 84:1.2 | Woman, because…/children. |
| UB 84:3.1 | It may…/patriarchal order. |
| UB 84:6.8 | Marriage is the…/husband and wife. |
| UB 84:7.8-9 | But the home…/her way. |
Group 6 — Religion Retarding Equality
| Page | Begins With/Ends With |
|---|---|
| UB 84:3.2 | The scant courtesy…/shepherd. |
| UB 89:3.6-7 | It was only…/followers. |
| UB 167:6.4 | Woman’s status…/taught them. |
| UB 194:3.14 | Before the teachings…/liberty. |
Group 7 — Jesus’ Character Values
| Page | Begins With/Ends With |
|---|---|
| UB 139:0.1 | Paper 139 |
Group 8 — Mortal Roles
| Page | Begins With/Ends With |
|---|---|
| UB 33:3.1-8 | 3. The Universe Son and Spirit…/the other. |
| UB 34:4.3-7 | The Creator Son…/Holy Spirit. |
¶ Bibliography
- Linda Bell, Vision of Women.
- Christine Bowning, The Goddess: Mythological Images of the Feminine.
- Meinrad Craighead, The Mother’s Song: Images of God the Mother.
- Riane Eisler, The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future, 1987, San Francisco: Harper and Row.
- Susan Faludi, Backlash.
- E.S. Fiorenza, In Memory of Her: A Feminist Theological Reconstruction of Christian Origins, 1988, New York: Crossroad.
- Mary Giles, The Feminine Mystic and Other Essays on Women and Spirituality.
- Susan Griffin, Woman and Nature: The Roaring Inside Her, 1978, New York: Harper and Row.
- Rachel Hosmer, Gender and God: Love and Desire in Christian Spirituality.
- Casey Miller and Kate Swift, The Handbook of Non-Sexist Writing, 1988, New York: Harper and Row.
- Joan Ohanneson, Woman: Survivor in the Church.
- Carolyn Osiek, Beyond Anger: On Being a Feminist in the Church.
- Mary Bade Papa, Christian Feminism; Completing the Subtotal Woman.
- Redbook, “Boys and Girls Learn Differently”; Susan Chira, September 1992.
- Rosemary Ruether, Sexism and God-Talk: Toward a Feminist Theology, 1983, Boston Beacon Press.
- Arvind Sharma, Women in World Religions.
- Deborah Tannen, You Just Don’t Understand, 1990, New York: Ballantine Books.
- The University of California Press, Gender at the Crossroads of Knowledge: Feminist Anthropology in the Postmodern Era; Gender and Religion: On the Complexity of Symbols.
- The Urantia Book, 1955, Chicago: Urantia Foundation.
- Utne Reader, “Women and Men, Can We Get Along? Should We Even Try?”, June 1993.
