© 2011 Agnes Lazar
© 2011 French-speaking Association of Readers of the Urantia Book
My mind is the “uterus” in which the meeting of the Divine and myself takes place. Place of fertilization, implantation and gestation of the product of the Nature of God and the human. At the end of this gestation, a behavioral readjustment is expected of me. This right action satisfies my whole being. I no longer feel any lack, I taste fullness…
Just like the pregnant woman that I was three times, very quickly I realize that a new element has penetrated my being. I put myself in a “state of gestation”. I put myself in a slow motion (less exteriority and more cocooning-interiority). I grant myself this slow motion and this state of interior silence to accompany this internal movement of which I do not perceive much at the beginning except the certainty and the confidence that something different to me, human Agnes, of whom I have gone around, is about to take shape. I watch for the first movements in my thoughts, while having a healthy lifestyle that keeps away all mental poisons…, as a woman, I watched for the first blows against my uterine wall. And, in this attitude of slow motion and silence, the manifestations are not long in coming.
“God knows before me what I need”, “Life is more intelligent than me” in terms of Wisdom…so, when I feel a small disturbance, non-acceptance from a part of me to the process of nesting in me (just like the discomforts of the pregnant woman at the beginning of pregnancy) I repeat these affirmations to myself which gradually calm me down and put me in a state of total receptivity.
I let myself be fertilized by God. I let God transform my ideas into ideals that are more and more in conformity with His and my true Nature. From this work of transformation, a readjustment of my actions will be expected of me. It is in my actions that the effects of God are visible. I give myself in all confidence to this transformation of my being by the Nature of God.
I understood that God expected from me an ever-renewed acceptance to impregnate me with His Nature. My personality makes Him the daily offering of my free will. This is how I move from stage to stage of increasing invasion of His mind in my mind. An exquisite dilation which nourishes my soul…daughter of the relationship and partnership of my Adjuster and myself. My mind is the appropriate place for this synthesis.
Following my cleansing of handicaps, a new mental space has been freed. A new welcoming space is offered to my Adjuster. God emerges in my mind, a welcoming land for a new potential human-Divine balance.
New behavior in me:
I moved from activism to action. My desire to do God’s will, reiterated daily, attracts the energies necessary for the realization of His will and mine combined.
I observe what is gradually taking place in relation to a new situation that presents itself to me. I observe without being in a hurry to act immediately. My first action is to observe the facts in relation to my request. I do not seek to analyze, dissect, interpret, or draw conclusions prematurely.
In this new attitude of patient observation, I sense a celestial organization. My non-haste allows, thanks to the time factor, to gradually reveal to me the elements I need to act. At one point, I see the logic emerging, the common thread jumps out at me, the coherence appears to me and with it, this unique sensation of “perfect” harmony…
Life imposes itself on me in such an obvious way, everything is there in meaning!
All I have to do is manipulate the energies that have become evident.
Pregnancy with God…
First, there is a clear request on my part to be impregnated, then, I put myself in favorable conditions…I focus all my energy on the idea of the emergence of the Divine in my mind. God operates the transformation in me and I take care to maintain the favorable conditions (silence, meditation, removal of mental poisons, observation of external factors…) when the transformations have reached the end of gestation, I externalize, under the directives of my Adjuster, the product of this transformation…
The equation of God and me once again accomplished is resolved in me with visible effects on the outside…
It’s absolutely beautiful…
I became bulimic!!!
Agnes Lazarus
For my “Actress Conjointess, … what flowers?
