© 1994 Ann Bendall
© 1994 The Brotherhood of Man Library
My Thought Adjuster can vouch for the fact that I have attempted every naive and simple way to chat with Him. In a prior article I mentioned some of my unbalanced, demanding, insane, and decidedly desperate efforts to have Him talk to me. If I choose to be honest with myself, they all failed!
It appears that there is no technique left but to try the “well-balanced and sane” (UB 196:3.34) way, Darn!
It was all so easy when I thought that all I had to do was whistle through the day chanting in parrot-like fashion, “It is my will that Your will be done”, and Voila! no more Cecilia Ann’s will in my life, only God’s. Introspection at the end of each day, whilst surveying the chaos, revealed the obvious— that the day had been a day of Cecilia Ann’s will reigning supreme; i.e., very little God-like will displayed in the day’s doings! I appreciated that quite possibly it took a little time for God’s will to get through. Probably something to do with my being two brained and electro-chemical. But I have such faith in God, and I knew that He was fully aware that, in my heart and soul, I truly wanted His will to reign supreme in my life. He was probably putting me to the test, to see if I would change my mind.
I was aiming for perfection of will because I had already put in an order for a mind exchange to Jesus’ type of mind. It said it in the book! I could exchange my mind for the mind of Jesus! I considered my mind to be a good mind, it had served me well for quite a number of years. I also knew, because the Blue book told me, that Jesus had a standard, ordinary Urantia type mind, just like my mind. So, one part of the book assures me that my mind is fine, just the same as Jesus’ mind, another part recommends I exchange mine for his. If both our minds are the same I found it puzzling why I should have a mind-exchange, but anything was worth a try!
So I was praying for God’s will and Jesus mind. I realize that this left my body and personality, but seeing there was only a little bit of will attached to personality, I felt the universe and I were safe with those two bits of me remaining. Admittedly, if anywhere in The Urantia Book it was suggested that I could swap my personality for that of a Melchizadek, and my body for a Material daughter, requests for same would have been included in my prayers. As you can gather, I was decidedly dissatisfied with my performance as a child of God. Something needed eradicating or exchanging.
And so I prayed and prayed, and each day the same mind and the same will! So back to the Book! In true scientific fashion, I was going to discover how to get better communication with my Thought Adjuster! And it is amazing! When I remove all my misconceptions and preconceptions from my intellect, The Urantia Book makes so much more sense.
Of course I can exchange my mind for the mind of Jesus! All I have to do is start using it the same way as he did. I look to Jesus, and at Jesus. What a man! What brilliant usage of a mind just like mine. How he worked his dear mind from childhood, trying so hard to love and understand God; trying so hard to love and understand his family, friends, culture. He could sort out illusion, from fact, from reality, when he was a mere child!
Now I know how I can have better communication with my Thought Adjuster. All I have to do is learn to think, feel and be as God would be if He were I, in my time and place. The secret to better communication with my Thought Adjuster lies in my starting to talk the same language as God; to base my thoughts, beliefs and attitudes to myself and others, and the relationship between us, in accordance with the truths of the universe. Oh for the days of blissful and frustrating ignorance! Now to the grindstone of growth. The only way my Thought Adjuster can commune with me is if I get the garden of my mind, heart and soul conducive to a visit. God stands patiently and long suffering within, awaiting my horticultural undertaking.
God could not answer my prayer that His will be done in my life for, as I envisaged the process, He was going to make all the decisions! I was so pleased about this. I know that I have a real talent for decision making. I had been a decision maker from way back and had, in my opinion, and the opinion of many around me, an unbroken track record for terrible, disastrous and resoundingly WRONG decisions. With God at the helm making all my decisions, the pathway to Paradise would be a delight. All we had to do was expunge my will totally, so that there was only one will in my life, God’s. I would wander through world after world with God’s will reigning supreme and me going along for the ride.
It was a lovely dream, but as I deliberate, the reality is much more beautiful. I have no doubt there will be many tears God and I will shed over my will-perfecting exercises. It is going to be a long process, “the consecration and dedication of my (his- Jesus) own will to the majestic service of doing the divine will.”(UB 196:0.10) but I have the utmost of faith in God and Jesus.
All that is decidedly mine is my will. That is the way God wants it. It is the only gift of value that I can give God. However, unlike my naive beliefs, the giving is not a process of saying, “Gee thanks dear Dad for will. It was really nice of you to give it to me but I don’t want it so here it is as a present!” He wants me to so value His gift that I utilize it in the same way as He would, that is the process of gift giving!
For eternity, my will will always be mine, and it is by my decisions that this self same will will be executed in a manner that I verily believe would be pleasing to our Father. One day my will will look so much like God’s will for me that no one, not even Jesus Michael, will be able to tell the difference. I so much want unbroken communion with my Thought Adjuster just like Jesus had. And I know I can as long as I do what he did, work and work and work on me!
Jesus did not communicate with God—he communed with him. (Communicate: the imparting or exchange of information, ideas or feelings; Communion: possessing or sharing in common). How? Because they were like minds, kindred spirits. The mechanism was there at the birth of Jesus. He learnt how to utilize it well, so as to become a friend of God, a kindred spirit. And I have him as my model to learn the technique. So I am going to work on my alter ego ideal and develop a relationship with God, as a real person in my mind. I know that I will create God’s personality in human likeness. I also know, because God so wants to develop a relationship with me, that my Thought Adjuster will work in the unseen reaches of my mind to help me to develop a more realistic image of God, as He is not as I want Him to be. “Only personalities can commune with each other, albeit this personal communion may be greatly facilitated by the presence of just such an impersonal entity as the Thought Adjuster.” (UB 1:7.1)
By getting to know God and Jesus, and then exercising my will in a manner which befits a child of God, one day, “the Spirit (will) bears witness with your spirit (the Adjuster) that you are a child of God.” Already has your own Thought Adjuster told you of your kinship to God so that the record testifies that the Spirit bears witness “with your spirit,” not to your spirit.”(UB 34:6.12) What a party we will have that day!
The secret of his unparalleled religious life was this consciousness of the presence of God; and he attained it by inteligent prayer and sincere worship—unbroken communion with God—and not by leadings, voices, visions, or extraordinary religious practices. (UB 196:0.10)