© 2010 Cécile Denayrouse
© 2010 French-speaking Association of Readers of the Urantia Book
These absurd theories that rot our daily lives or the law of maximum annoyance? It’s the trick of the slice of bread that falls on the wrong side, or that of “never two without three”. A look back at these harmful precepts.
In life, there is theory. Those vicious little phrases that we have been brainwashed with since childhood. Like “good things come to those who wait”, “every pot has its lid” or “money doesn’t buy happiness”. A bit like the best-of menu of barroom philosophy. The smell of mothballs as a bonus.
BELL’s Law
Any body immersed in a bathtub then hears the telephone ringing.
MOORE’s Law
Named after a former CEO of Intel, at the unwilling center of a techno-comic misunderstanding. Explanations. In 1965, the famous Mr. Moore published an article in a specialized journal on the evolution of the manufacture of microprocessors and the number of transistors they would contain in the future. He stated that the number of transistors on a chip doubles every 18 months. In short, heavy stuff that leaves little room for jokes. In the 1990s, Intel became passionate about this law and democratized it. But the general public, rather touchy about the technical term, reworked it in their own way. By a sad twist of fate, it became “Intel’s law”: The performance of a computer doubles, at the same price, every 18 months. Translation: the brand new computer you just bought is already outdated.
WEILER’s law
Well known to management experts: nothing is impossible for those who do not have to do it themselves.
FUBGG Rule
The more you hurry, the slower the counter clerk. Often goes hand in hand with Zenone’s observation below.
The problem is that, in life, there is also practice. The good old empiricism that teaches you the exact opposite of grandpa-grandma’s tirade. For example, that money still contributes to a certain harmony. Or that it is when we are not looking at the screen that the goal is scored…
A little reminder of these laws which are ruining our daily lives, just to finally put a name to these bad luck theories.
ZENONE’s Rule
The favorite of latecomers. It states that the next line always moves faster. Note the nice variation: If you change lines, the one you just left will then become the fastest. To experience it is to adopt it.
WALTEIR’s law
The tendency for cigarette smoke to move toward a person is proportional to that person’s sensitivity to smoke.
PARKINSON’s law
It dates from 1958 and states that the more time we have to do something, the more we will take it.
PARETO’s law
Also called the 80/20 law. This is an empirical rule inspired by the observations of Vilfredo Pareto, an Italian economist and sociologist. It specifies that approximately 80% of the effects are the product of 20% of the causes. A bit like Mary Poppins’ bag, Pareto’s statistics have proven to be a pleasant catch-all. It adapts just as well to economics (80% of wealth is held by 20% of people) as to business (80% of effective work is done by 20% of staff) or even to pedagogy (to learn, you have to spend 20% of your time on the 80% of the most important course elements). Funny.
MURPHY’s Law
It states that anything that can go wrong will inevitably end up going wrong. Everyone has been able to savor its painful truth at least once in their life (read the box opposite). It’s a bit like Mother Nature deciding to haze on a large scale… It’s because of Murphy that toast always ends up being crushed on the buttered side. Or that boilers often break down on Friday nights at 7 p.m. when it starts to freeze outside. There is a variation that specifies that if everything seems to be working well, you have necessarily forgotten or overlooked something.
The origin of MURPHY’s Law, a little bit of history:
From 1947 to 1949, the US Air Force conducted a project to test human tolerance to deceleration. The tests used a rocket-powered cart mounted on a rail, with a series of hydraulic brakes at the end of the track. When it came to precisely measuring the deceleration during a final test, the sensors indicated zero force. Upon investigation, it turned out that Captain Edward Murphy’s assistant had set up the measuring equipment upside down.
It was upon noting this that Edward Murphy uttered his famous phrase: “If that guy has any way of making a mistake, he will.” Which can be translated as “If that guy has any way of making a mistake, he will.” According to a second version, the formalization of the famous law came during a discussion with the other members of the team. It was condensed into: “If it can happen, it will happen” and named “Murphy’s law” to mock the latter’s arrogance.
Robert Murphy, one of Edward Murphy’s sons, denies this umpteenth version and claims that the sentence was: “If there are several ways to do a job, and one of them could lead to disaster, then there will be someone to do it that way.” In any case, the sentence achieved the notoriety that we know after a press conference. When the journalists asked how it was possible that no one had been seriously injured during the tests, Captain Stapp replied that they had taken “Murphy’s Law” into consideration, which he explained. A myth was born.
Cecile Denayrouse