© 2024 Olga López
© 2024 Urantia Association of Spain
As readers committed to the book’s teachings, we want a guide that will help us educate children in the teachings of the fifth revelation. Unfortunately, children don’t come with an instruction manual, so we have to make do as best we can when we bring a new life into the world.
Although there are no specific documents on this topic, the book contains many pearls of wisdom here and there that can serve and inspire us. Here are some examples:
When children have their ideals, do not dislodge them; let them grow. And while you are learning to think as men, you should also be learning to pray as children. UB 48:6.32 bold added
Give every developing child a chance to grow his own religious experience; do not force a ready-made adult experience upon him. Remember, year-by-year progress through an established educational regime does not necessarily mean intellectual progress, much less spiritual growth. Enlargement of vocabulary does not signify development of character… UB 100:1.3 bold added
Children are permanently impressed only by the loyalties of their adult associates; precept or even example is not lastingly influential. Loyal persons are growing persons, and growth is an impressive and inspiring reality. Live loyally today—grow—and tomorrow will attend to itself. The quickest way for a tadpole to become a frog is to live loyally each moment as a tadpole. UB 100:1.4 bold added
On this occasion, however, I want to focus on the example Jesus gave us as a father and brother to his earthly family, and also on the teachings he offered regarding the education of children and how he viewed them.
Already at age 11, Jesus was forced to assume the responsibilities of the firstborn son, one or two years earlier than was normal in Jewish culture at that time, following the birth of his brother Judah.
Never again did this youth find it possible to return to the childlike attitude of his earlier years. From the time of his mother’s illness—just before he was eleven years old—he was compelled to assume the responsibilities of the first-born son and to do all this one or two full years before these burdens should normally have fallen on his shoulders. UB 124:3.4
The relationship he had with his brothers is very well expressed in this paragraph, which refers to when Jesus was 12 years old: he got along well or very well with everyone, with the exceptions of Joseph and especially Judah:
From this time on he became more successful in getting along with his brothers and sisters. He was increasingly tactful, always compassionate and considerate of their welfare and happiness, and enjoyed good relations with them up to the beginning of his public ministry. To be more explicit: He got along with James, Miriam, and the two younger (as yet unborn) children, Amos and Ruth, most excellently. He always got along with Martha fairly well. What trouble he had at home largely arose out of friction with Joseph and Jude, particularly the latter. UB 124:4.3
As the firstborn son, Jesus made adjustments in his family, always with respect and with the intention of improving family life:
As time passed, Jesus did much to modify their practice of religious forms, such as the family prayers and other customs. UB 124:4.8
As time passed, Jesus did much to liberalize and modify the family teachings and practices related to Sabbath observance and many other phases of religion. UB 127:4.9
Although he did not always agree with his parents and the customs of the time, Jesus always maintained an attitude of respect and obedience toward his parents.
[Jesus] never shirked the responsibility of making the necessary daily adjustments between these realms of loyalty to one’s personal convictions and duty toward one’s family, and he achieved the satisfaction of effecting an increasingly harmonious blending of personal convictions and family obligations into a masterful concept of group solidarity based upon loyalty, fairness, tolerance, and love. UB 124:4.9
There was a decisive event in Jesus’ transformation from firstborn son to head of the family: the death in an accident of his earthly father, Joseph:
… were permitted those occurrences of the natural order of events on Urantia which would force this young man of destiny so early to assume these heavy but highly educational and disciplinary responsibilities attendant upon becoming the head of a human family, of becoming father to his own brothers and sisters, of supporting and protecting his mother, of functioning as guardian of his father’s home, the only home he was to know while on this world. UB 126:2.2 bold added
Jesus had a larger and longer experience rearing this family than was accorded to Joseph, his father; and he did measure up to the standard which he subsequently set for himself: to become a wise, patient, understanding, and effective teacher and eldest brother to this family—his family—so suddenly sorrow-stricken and so unexpectedly bereaved. UB 124:5.6 bold added
As the Creator Son, Jesus was forbidden to have children of his own upon his mortal bestowal, so having to take care of his earthly family was the perfect circumstance to experience fatherhood.
Despite the importance of his bestowal mission, the welfare of his family always came first. He did not begin his public life until his brother James became the head of the family and his older siblings began to marry. He even took his brothers to Jerusalem for the Passover, even though economic conditions were poor. Jesus never showed any favoritism in his dealings with his family. UB 128:1.15
He was a real though youthful father to the family; he spent every possible hour with the youngsters, and they truly loved him. UB 127:1.8 bold added
Regarding the dynamics and functioning of Jesus’ family, I would like to highlight these aspects:
By the beginning of this year [12 AD] Jesus had fully won his mother to the acceptance of his methods of child training—the positive injunction to do good in the place of the older Jewish method of forbidding to do evil. In his home and throughout his public-teaching career Jesus invariably employed the positive form of exhortation. Always and everywhere did he say, “You shall do this—you ought to do that.” Never did he employ the negative mode of teaching derived from the ancient taboos. He refrained from placing emphasis on evil by forbidding it, while he exalted the good by commanding its performance. Prayer time in this household was the occasion for discussing anything and everything relating to the welfare of the family. UB 127:4.2 bold added
Jesus began wise discipline upon his brothers and sisters at such an early age that little or no punishment was ever required to secure their prompt and wholehearted obedience. The only exception was Jude, upon whom on sundry occasions Jesus found it necessary to impose penalties for his infractions of the rules of the home. On three occasions when it was deemed wise to punish Jude for self-confessed and deliberate violations of the family rules of conduct, his punishment was fixed by the unanimous decree of the older children and was assented to by Jude himself before it was inflicted. UB 127:4.3 (1401.3) bold added
While Jesus was most methodical and systematic in everything he did, there was also in all his administrative rulings a refreshing elasticity of interpretation and an individuality of adaptation that greatly impressed all the children with the spirit of justice which actuated their father-brother. He never arbitrarily disciplined his brothers and sisters, and such uniform fairness and personal consideration greatly endeared Jesus to all his family. UB 127:4.4 bold added
James and Simon grew up trying to follow Jesus’ plan of placating their bellicose and sometimes irate playmates by persuasion and nonresistance, and they were fairly successful; but Joseph and Jude, while assenting to such teachings at home, made haste to defend themselves when assailed by their comrades; in particular was Jude guilty of violating the spirit of these teachings. But nonresistance was not a rule of the family. No penalty was attached to the violation of personal teachings. UB 127:4.5
In general, all of the children, particularly the girls, would consult Jesus about their childhood troubles and confide in him just as they would have in an affectionate father. UB 127:4.6
Ordinarily the girls of Jewish families received little education, but Jesus maintained (and his mother agreed) that girls should go to school the same as boys, and since the synagogue school would not receive them, there was nothing to do but conduct a home school especially for them. UB 127:1.5 bold added
… This decision [that his brother Simon should work as a bricklayer, not a carpenter] was the result of several family meetings at which it was concluded that all the boys should not dedicate themselves to carpentry but rather diversify their trades in order to be able to aspire to contracts for the construction of entire buildings. UB 128:2.2
All of us parents know how difficult our children’s adolescence can be, both for them and for us. Jesus was no stranger to this problem:
This was one of several years during which Jesus’ brothers and sisters were facing the trials and tribulations peculiar to the problems and readjustments of adolescence. Jesus now had brothers and sisters ranging in ages from seven to eighteen, and he was kept busy helping them to adjust themselves to the new awakenings of their intellectual and emotional lives. He had thus to grapple with the problems of adolescence as they became manifest in the lives of his younger brothers and sisters. UB 128:2.1 bold added
In addition to the circumstances that every family must face, Jesus’ family had to face truly difficult and painful situations:
On Saturday afternoon, December 3, of this year, death for the second time struck at this Nazareth family. Little Amos, their baby brother, died after a week’s illness with a high fever. After passing through this time of sorrow with her first-born son as her only support, Mary at last and in the fullest sense recognized Jesus as the real head of the family; and he was truly a worthy head. UB 127:3.13 (1400.5), bold added
[Jesus’ words to his mother:] “Mother-Mary, sorrow will not help us; we are all doing our best, and mother’s smile, perchance, might even inspire us to do better. Day by day we are strengthened for these tasks by our hope of better days ahead.” His sturdy and practical optimism was truly contagious; all the children lived in an atmosphere of anticipation of better times and better things. And this hopeful courage contributed mightily to the development of strong and noble characters, in spite of the depressiveness of their poverty. UB 127:3.14 bold added
Jesus also referred to the education of children during his public ministry, and he always had a loving attitude toward them that inspires us to approach them with an appreciation for the value of the early stages of a human being’s development:
Jesus said many things that helped John [Mark] to better understand his parents and other members of his family. UB 177:2.1 (1921.5)
You are the product of a home where the parents bear each other a sincere affection, and therefore you have not been overloved so as injuriously to exalt your concept of self-importance. Neither has your personality suffered distortion in consequence of your parents’ loveless maneuvering for your confidence and loyalty, the one against the other. You have enjoyed that parental love which insures laudable self-confidence and which fosters normal feelings of security. But you have also been fortunate in that your parents possessed wisdom as well as love; and it was wisdom which led them to withhold most forms of indulgence and many luxuries which wealth can buy while they sent you to the synagogue school along with your neighborhood playfellows, and they also encouraged you to learn how to live in this world by permitting you to have original experience… Intelligent parents like yours see that their children do not have to hurt love or break loyalty in order to develop independence and enjoy exciting freedom when they reach your age. UB 177:2.2 bold added
“Love, John, is the supreme reality of the universe when bestowed by all-wise beings, but it is a dangerous and oftentimes semiselfish trait as it is manifested in the experience of mortal parents. When you get married and have children of your own to rear, make sure that your love is admonished by wisdom and guided by intelligence. UB 177:2.3 bold added
You possess a strong and well-knit character because you grew up in a home where love prevailed and wisdom reigned. Such a childhood training produces a type of loyalty which assures me that you will go through with the course you have begun. UB 177:2.4 bold added
The Master went on to explain to John how a child is wholly dependent on his parents and the associated home life for all his early concepts of everything intellectual, social, moral, and even spiritual since the family represents to the young child all that he can first know of either human or divine relationships. The child must derive his first impressions of the universe from the mother’s care; he is wholly dependent on the earthly father for his first ideas of the heavenly Father. The child’s subsequent life is made happy or unhappy, easy or difficult, in accordance with his early mental and emotional life, conditioned by these social and spiritual relationships of the home. A human being’s entire afterlife is enormously influenced by what happens during the first few years of existence. UB 177:2.5 bold added
After everything reviewed above, these quotes illustrate very well what the final conclusions could be about how to educate children in the family, in accordance with the religion of Jesus and the example he gave with his earthly family:
It is our sincere belief that the gospel of Jesus’ teaching, founded as it is on the father-child relationship, can hardly enjoy a world-wide acceptance until such a time as the home life of the modern civilized peoples embraces more of love and more of wisdom. Notwithstanding that parents of the twentieth century possess great knowledge and increased truth for improving the home and ennobling the home life, it remains a fact that very few modern homes are such good places in which to nurture boys and girls as Jesus’ home in Galilee and John Mark’s home in Judea, albeit the acceptance of Jesus’ gospel will result in the immediate improvement of home life. The love life of a wise home and the loyal devotion of true religion exert a profound reciprocal influence upon each other. Such a home life enhances religion, and genuine religion always glorifies the home. UB 177:2.6 bold added
It is true that many of the objectionable stunting influences and other cramping features of these olden Jewish homes have been virtually eliminated from many of the better-regulated modern homes. There is, indeed, more spontaneous freedom and far more personal liberty, but this liberty is not restrained by love, motivated by loyalty, nor directed by the intelligent discipline of wisdom. As long as we teach the child to pray, “Our Father who is in heaven,” a tremendous responsibility rests upon all earthly fathers so to live and order their homes that the word father becomes worthily enshrined in the minds and hearts of all growing children. UB 177:2.7 bold added
All of this should lead us to ask ourselves these questions, which I’m sure many of you have already asked yourselves:
As a chain of values, the family is a fundamental institution in society. Let’s take care of it!