© 2010 Tanja Konnerth
© 2010 Association Francophone des Lecteurs du Livre d'Urantia
Overcoming Differences of Opinion. It may be that simple differences of opinion are at the root of most of our arguments. Wouldn’t it be better to come into conflict with others less often about everything?
Different opinions can coexist. First of all, we should be perfectly aware of the fact that everyone has the right to form their own opinion. My view of things is my own. Others do not necessarily have to share it. We know this in theory. And yet, as soon as we are not careful, we find ourselves arguing because of differences of opinion. The next time we have an opportunity, let us be aware of this: the point of view of our interlocutor is their own, we also have ours and the two can coexist without any problem.
To be right or to be happy? When it comes to personal opinions, it is better to be happy than to always be right. We can decide to be happy even if other people do not share our opinions. We can also make life difficult for ourselves by wanting to persuade everyone that our vision of the world is the right one, and let the opinions of others annoy us. This last variant makes us waste considerable energy.
Let’s accept opinions other than our own. We could decide to be happy regardless of what others think. There’s no need to get upset, right? If we can accept that another person has a different opinion than ours, we won’t feel inconvenienced by the difference, and we won’t try to overcome it.
Let’s avoid going on a crusade for our opinions. When someone expresses an opinion that seems particularly stupid to us, we often feel compelled to contradict them; we would like to persuade them that our opinion is the right one. If this person remains indifferent to our argument, we tend to become irritated. It then happens that we invest a lot of energy in persuading them. We do too much. We should not want to change others.
Let’s assume that we are all different. In order to avoid unnecessary conflicts with others, let’s always assume that the person we are talking to probably has a different point of view than we do, that we care about very different things and that we probably don’t share the same beliefs, opinions and points of view. This attitude prevents us from having unrealistic expectations.
Let’s just stop arguing over differences of opinion. Most of the time, it’s not worth arguing over differences of opinion. Instead, we should try to see different points of view as an example of diversity and a chance to learn something. Respecting another’s opinion does not mean that we share it.
Seduce rather than persuade. We can limit ourselves to simply presenting our point of view to others. The more attractive our offer is, the more likely others will be to accept it—probably not always 100%, sometimes only in bits and pieces. It depends on how much effort we put into presenting our point of view to others in an attractive way. Seduction is a very useful tool for those who place great importance on having others adopt their opinion.
Viewing Others’ Opinions as Offers. We can view other people’s opinions as offers. Offers that we are not in the least obligated to accept, but that we can take a quick look at to see if they are as terrible as we imagine.
Is it really worth arguing about? It is worthwhile, from time to time, to seriously ask ourselves how many of our arguments and quarrels have had any meaning and whether it is often simply not worth arguing about.
Let’s stop arguing about things that don’t concern us. Let’s also stop discussing everything on principle. Any topic, action or statement can end in an exhausting quarrel. And arguing costs us a lot of energy. Let’s not force others to enter into the debate when they may not have the slightest desire to… We get irritated when the other person doesn’t want to debate with us.
Let us choose our “battlefields” carefully. In the face of any conflict that arises due to differences of opinion, it is important to always ask ourselves whether it is worth the energy invested. Many areas are worth it. But no one has infinite strength and energy.
What really bothers us? We must always ask ourselves what really harms us: what limits us, handicaps us or compromises us? These are the things that are worth arguing about. Superfluous arguments, on the other hand, do not last long as long as we become aware of the process we are engaged in.
We may be of the same opinion. It is, most of the time, quite possible to discuss calmly with the other person. We can simply ask the other person for their opinion, then continue the discussion by commenting on it objectively. In many cases, arguments are useless: the important thing for us is to exchange your points of view, to dialogue, in a calm manner. And finally, we may realize that we are of the same opinion.
Tanja Konnerth