© 2016 Cyril Cosette
© 2016 French-speaking Association of Readers of the Urantia Book
| Another Vision of the Universe | Le Lien Urantien — Issue 74 — June 2016 | The Translation of The Urantia Book: State of Play |
The child moved away from the parasol under which his parents were resting and near which his sisters were playing. He arrived at the edge of the wet sand. Boys were playing ball. Their cries and laughter echoed amidst the murmur of the sea. He remained there for a moment in silence, observing them. Then he decided to go forward to ask them: “Can I play with you?”
Man is not made to remain alone. During his earthly life, he will be able to have human relationships with people in his family, parents, brothers and sisters, spouse, children, with strangers and “acquaintances” or with friends.
Friendship, or being friends, according to the dictionary is “the attachment, the sympathy that one person shows to another”.
Philosophers specify that we love and share with a friend, a “chosen” person, but that this friendship is necessarily reciprocal. Some see in it “an alter ego” (Aristotle) or a “distant being” who pushes us to surpass ourselves, to overcome our human condition (Nietzsche).
“1. Mutual self-expression and self-understanding. Many noble human impulses die because there is no one to hear their expression. Truly, it is not good for man to be alone. Some degree of recognition and a certain amount of appreciation are essential to the development of human character. Without the genuine love of a home, no child can achieve the full development of normal character. Character is something more than mere mind and morals. Of all social relations calculated to develop character, the most effective and ideal is the affectionate and understanding friendship of man and woman in the mutual embrace of intelligent wedlock. Marriage, with its manifold relations, is best designed to draw forth those precious impulses and those higher motives which are indispensable to the development of a strong character. I do not hesitate thus to glorify family life, for your Master has wisely chosen the father-child relationship as the very cornerstone of this new gospel of the kingdom. And such a matchless community of relationship, man and woman in the fond embrace of the highest ideals of time, is so valuable and satisfying an experience that it is worth any price, any sacrifice, requisite for its possession.” (UB 160:2.6)
In our society and in everyday language, the relationship of “friendship” often expresses the relationship which is different from the relationship between spouses. It also implies the absence of a carnal relationship between people.
This is how Jesus answered Rebecca who wanted to marry him:
“After listening attentively, he sincerely thanked Rebecca for her expressed admiration, adding, “it shall cheer and comfort me all the days of my life.” He explained that he was not free to enter into relations with any woman other than those of simple brotherly regard and pure friendship. He made it clear that his first and paramount duty was the rearing of his father’s family, that he could not consider marriage until that was accomplished; and then he added: “If I am a son of destiny, I must not assume obligations of lifelong duration until such a time as my destiny shall be made manifest.”” (UB 127:5.5)
A friendship by definition is a relationship between two people.
It therefore also includes the possibility of friendship with God.
“Notwithstanding that God is an eternal power, a majestic presence, a transcendent ideal, and a glorious spirit, though he is all these and infinitely more, nonetheless, he is truly and everlastingly a perfect Creator personality, a person who can “know and be known,” who can “love and be loved,” and one who can befriend us; while you can be known, as other humans have been known, as the friend of God. He is a real spirit and a spiritual reality.” (UB 1:5.8)
Later, as the child grew up, he sought to have many friends. He wondered how he could go about having many because he had realized that friendship was lived against a beautiful backdrop of happiness.
To love, the will to do good to others, is a long path to arrive at the quality of Love which approaches Divine Love. This path began a long time ago and the evolution of Love in Man has grown and will grow through the ages.
“These early men possessed a touching affection for their comrades and certainly had a real, although crude, idea of friendship. It was a common sight in later times, during their constantly recurring battles with the inferior tribes, to see one of these primitive men valiantly fighting with one hand while he struggled on, trying to protect and save an injured fellow warrior. Many of the most noble and highly human traits of subsequent evolutionary development were touchingly foreshadowed in these primitive peoples.” (UB 63:4.4)
For friendship to arise between two people, both people must be able to love.
“Some degree of moral affinity and spiritual harmony is essential to friendship between two persons; a loving personality can hardly reveal himself to a loveless person. Even to approach the knowing of a divine personality, all of man’s personality endowments must be wholly consecrated to the effort; halfhearted, partial devotion will be unavailing.” (UB 1:6.5)
The child who became an adolescent discovered that by wanting to understand people and by developing common points between people, he was likely to approach them more easily. Then, having a common subject to discuss or a common activity to practice, a relationship could be born, eventually leading to a relationship of friendship.
Also, he learned, young and then as an adult, in as many areas as possible in order to be able to share with as many people as possible in the most varied specialties: sport, religions, board games, literature, music, painting, politics, economics, circus, magic…
“In physical life the senses tell of the existence of things; mind discovers the reality of meanings; but the spiritual experience reveals to the individual the true values of life. These high levels of human living are attained in the supreme love of God and in the unselfish love of man. If you love your fellow men, you must have discovered their values. Jesus loved men so much because he placed such a high value upon them. You can best discover values in your associates by discovering their motivation. If someone irritates you, causes feelings of resentment, you should sympathetically seek to discern his viewpoint, his reasons for such objectionable conduct. If once you understand your neighbor, you will become tolerant, and this tolerance will grow into friendship and ripen into love.” (UB 100:4.4)
We find examples of friendship in our life as well as in The Urantia Book, the friendship between Jesus and his apostles:
“2. His life association with us exemplifies the ideal of human friendship; only a divine being could possibly be such a human friend. He is the most truly unselfish person we have ever known. He is the friend even of sinners; he dares to love his enemies. He is very loyal to us. While he does not hesitate to reprove us, it is plain to all that he truly loves us. The better you know him, the more you will love him. You will be charmed by his unswerving devotion. Through all these years of our failure to comprehend his mission, he has been a faithful friend. While he makes no use of flattery, he does treat us all with equal kindness; he is invariably tender and compassionate. He has shared his life and everything else with us. We are a happy community; we share all things in common. We do not believe that a mere human could live such a blameless life under such trying circumstances.” (UB 161:2.3)
“Keep in mind: It is loyalty, not sacrifice, that Jesus demands. The consciousness of sacrifice implies the absence of that wholehearted affection which would have made such a loving service a supreme joy. The idea of duty signifies that you are servant-minded and hence are missing the mighty thrill of doing your service as a friend and for a friend. The impulse of friendship transcends all convictions of duty, and the service of a friend for a friend can never be called a sacrifice. The Master has taught the apostles that they are the sons of God. He has called them brethren, and now, before he leaves, he calls them his friends.” (UB 180:1.6)
Friendship is probably the love that we can live and experience completely and in great quantity. Its benefits are numerous, both in happy and unhappy moments.
He put the piece back on the chessboard and got up to relight his pipe. Then, he went to the balcony with a glass in his hand and contemplated Paris from the top of the 20th floor. A dull sound of a piece on wood made him turn around. He observed the four chess games taking place in the room: the players were all men of different ages, from 17 to 70, from different cultures, different social conditions, different paths in life. Chess had brought them together. Common values sealed their friendship.
“These associations of friendship and mutual affection are socializing and ennobling because they encourage and facilitate the following essential factors of the higher levels of the art of living:” (UB 160:2.5)
“2. Union of souls—the mobilization of wisdom. Every human being sooner or later acquires a certain concept of this world and a certain vision of the next. Now it is possible, through personality association, to unite these views of temporal existence and eternal prospects. Thus does the mind of one augment its spiritual values by gaining much of the insight of the other. In this way men enrich the soul by pooling their respective spiritual possessions. Likewise, in this same way, man is enabled to avoid that ever-present tendency to fall victim to distortion of vision, prejudice of viewpoint, and narrowness of judgment. Fear, envy, and conceit can be prevented only by intimate contact with other minds. I call your attention to the fact that the Master never sends you out alone to labor for the extension of the kingdom; he always sends you out two and two. And since wisdom is superknowledge, it follows that, in the union of wisdom, the social group, small or large, mutually shares all knowledge.” (UB 160:2.7)
The accident was sudden and brutal. He remembered the sad news announced suddenly one afternoon by telephone. The friend present that day next to him, pressed his hand. He quickly left to comfort his friend who had just lost her father and who would later become his wife in 1994.
“3. The enthusiasm for living. Isolation tends to exhaust the energy charge of the soul. Association with one’s fellows is essential to the renewal of the zest for life and is indispensable to the maintenance of the courage to fight those battles consequent upon the ascent to the higher levels of human living. Friendship enhances the joys and glorifies the triumphs of life. Loving and intimate human associations tend to rob suffering of its sorrow and hardship of much of its bitterness. The presence of a friend enhances all beauty and exalts every goodness. By intelligent symbols man is able to quicken and enlarge the appreciative capacities of his friends. One of the crowning glories of human friendship is this power and possibility of the mutual stimulation of the imagination. Great spiritual power is inherent in the consciousness of wholehearted devotion to a common cause, mutual loyalty to a cosmic Deity.” (UB 160:2.8)
“1. Mutual self-expression and self-understanding. Many noble human impulses die because there is no one to hear their expression. Truly, it is not good for man to be alone. Some degree of recognition and a certain amount of appreciation are essential to the development of human character. Without the genuine love of a home, no child can achieve the full development of normal character. Character is something more than mere mind and morals. Of all social relations calculated to develop character, the most effective and ideal is the affectionate and understanding friendship of man and woman in the mutual embrace of intelligent wedlock. Marriage, with its manifold relations, is best designed to draw forth those precious impulses and those higher motives which are indispensable to the development of a strong character. I do not hesitate thus to glorify family life, for your Master has wisely chosen the father-child relationship as the very cornerstone of this new gospel of the kingdom. And such a matchless community of relationship, man and woman in the fond embrace of the highest ideals of time, is so valuable and satisfying an experience that it is worth any price, any sacrifice, requisite for its possession.” (UB 160:2.6)
“4. The enhanced defense against all evil. Personality association and mutual affection is an efficient insurance against evil. Difficulties, sorrow, disappointment, and defeat are more painful and disheartening when borne alone. Association does not transmute evil into righteousness, but it does aid in greatly lessening the sting. Said your Master, “Happy are they who mourn”—if a friend is at hand to comfort. There is positive strength in the knowledge that you live for the welfare of others, and that these others likewise live for your welfare and advancement. Man languishes in isolation. Human beings unfailingly become discouraged when they view only the transitory transactions of time. The present, when divorced from the past and the future, becomes exasperatingly trivial. Only a glimpse of the circle of eternity can inspire man to do his best and can challenge the best in him to do its utmost. And when man is thus at his best, he lives most unselfishly for the good of others, his fellow sojourners in time and eternity.” (UB 160:2.9)
“This somewhat monotonous period of alternate fishing and personal work proved to be a grueling experience for the twelve apostles, but they endured the test. With all of their grumblings, doubts, and transient dissatisfactions they remained true to their vows of devotion and loyalty to the Master. It was their personal association with Jesus during these months of testing that so endeared him to them that they all (save Judas Iscariot) remained loyal and true to him even in the dark hours of the trial and crucifixion. Real men simply could not actually desert a revered teacher who had lived so close to them and had been so devoted to them as had Jesus. Through the dark hours of the Master’s death, in the hearts of these apostles all reason, judgment, and logic were set aside in deference to just one extraordinary human emotion—the supreme sentiment of friendship-loyalty. These five months of work with Jesus led these apostles, each one of them, to regard him as the best friend he had in all the world. And it was this human sentiment, and not his superb teachings or marvelous doings, that held them together until after the resurrection and the renewal of the proclamation of the gospel of the kingdom.” (UB 138:9.1)
The readers of The Urantia Book were silent for a few minutes before beginning the study of a passage. Something that morning added to their request to be accompanied and helped by their Spiritual Helpers during this day of study. He felt a delicious scent of communion and friendship between those gathered, a peace, a trust, a joy and a sweet serenity to share with them.
“Jesus spread good cheer everywhere he went. He was full of grace and truth. His associates never ceased to wonder at the gracious words that proceeded out of his mouth. You can cultivate gracefulness, but graciousness is the aroma of friendliness which emanates from a love-saturated soul.” (UB 171:7.1)
My dear friends,
You who attracted me by the depth of your values and by your kindness towards your fellow men,
You who surround me with your affection,
You who offer me so much warmth and small pleasures of material life,
You who help me so often and have saved me on several occasions,
You who fill me with joy at the idea of seeing you again,
You who recharge my batteries through your presence and your sharing,
You who are precious stones in the foundation and construction of my being and my life,
I love you and thank you.
And I hope that our friendship continues indefinitely,
May it grow together in Friendship with the one who allowed us this adventure through his Creation, who allows us to live it indefinitely through his Control, who invites us to live it with Him by giving us his Support and his Love.
May we make it known and share it with as many people as possible!
“Mortal man secures three great satisfactions from religious experience, even in the days of his temporal sojourn on earth:” (UB 5:5.7)
“In preaching the gospel of the kingdom, you are simply teaching friendship with God. And this fellowship will appeal alike to men and women in that both will find that which most truly satisfies their characteristic longings and ideals. Tell my children that I am not only tender of their feelings and patient with their frailties, but that I am also ruthless with sin and intolerant of iniquity. I am indeed meek and humble in the presence of my Father, but I am equally and relentlessly inexorable where there is deliberate evil-doing and sinful rebellion against the will of my Father in heaven.” (UB 159:3.9)
Cyril Cosette
| Another Vision of the Universe | Le Lien Urantien — Issue 74 — June 2016 | The Translation of The Urantia Book: State of Play |